| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

T W E N T Y N I N E

One.

The song has like zero relevance to this chapter but it's a good song so eh

Also this is a pretty triggering chapter so be careful
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By the time the funeral was getting towards the end, I was light headed from crying. Josh's dad kept staring at me and smirking.
I was done.
I glared over at him and he smirked more.
I knew that if I persisted, he would hurt me again so I looked away and focused on the person speaking.
"I'm B-Brendon." The obviously nervous boy said. "I w-was one of Josh's friends, an online friend h-he had."
The boy seemed to be in obvious pain.
"I knew him well." He continued. "We talked almost every night, he meant a whole lot to me. It's sad to know he's gone now."
The boy walked back to seat without another word. Very few people spoke.
"Does anyone else want to stand up and say a few words?" A boy said that looked to be about Josh's age. I assumed it was his brother.
"I'll speak again." I said and my hand shot up before I could stop myself. I stood up from my chair and walked to the front. "I want to sing something I wrote, something I wrote for Josh. Something I never got to sing to him." Everyone fell silent and I cleared my throat. "Sometimes you gotta bleed to know, that you're alive and have a soul. But it takes someone to come around and show you how, he's the tear in my heart I'm alive, he's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire, take me higher than I've ever been."
I could feel tears pushing at my eyes as memories flooded me. I continued anyways. "The songs on the radio are okay, but my taste in music is your face. And it takes a song to come around and show you how, he's the tear in my heart, I'm alive. He's the tear in my heart, I'm on fire, take me higher than I've ever been, than I've ever been, than I've ever been, than I've ever been!"
I stopped. I was crying at this point. It hurt. It hurt way too fucking much.
"I'm s-sorry." I said in a choked voice. "I c-can't f-finish.."
I walked swiftly away, pushing my way through the rows and rows of seats and running over to my moms car. I collapsed against it and buried my head in my hands. I cried. I cried and didn't stop crying.
"Tyler."
"Go a-a-away." I snapped and kept crying.
"Tyler, it's me."
I looked up and before me stood Josh, Josh Dun. I clapped my hands to my mouth and yelled. "Josh!"
I got to my feet and flung my arms around the boy.
"Get the fuck off me, boy!"
I got pushed away quickly and my heart dropped.
It wasn't Josh. It was his dad. I was seeing things.
"W-why a-a-are you h-h-here?" I stuttered and he smirked.

(A/N: More sexual abuse ahead from this point. You can skip over it if it's too sensitive for you to read. You won't miss any big plot thingies, it'll be explained after it all happens, promise)

"Let's just say I've been..." He made a few hand motions I didn't understand. "...craving you."
My heart sunk further and I froze. "Craving me?"
A huge smirk spread across his face. "Yes, craving you." He moved forward and pinned me against the car. He leaned forward and hissed into my ear. "And I'm going to satisfy my craving. I don't care if you're kicking and screaming. I get what I want."
I could feel fear rising in my chest as his hands moved around the waistband of my dress pants. "Don't do this. Please."
"Why shouldn't I?" He snarled and dug his nails into my skin. "I get what I want bitch."
I closed my eyes.
Something sparked in my mind.
I had hidden a knife in my back pocket.
I brought it with me in case this happened again. I could feel my heart rate quicken at the thought of stabbing him.
He grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of my thoughts. He guided me towards what I believed to be his car. He fumbled through his keys and unlocked the back door, throwing me onto the back seat roughly. I quickly pulled the knife out of my back pocket and hid it at my side.
"You're mine." He snarled and climbed on top of me.
I gulped and rose the knife quickly, bringing down into his side.
He screamed in agony and I dug the knife deeper. Another scream and I heard people running up to the car.
"Tyler!" I heard my mom scream and I pushed his body off me and ran towards her.
"He raped me mom, he raped me and he tried to rape me again and I stabbed him. I'm sorry mom, I'm so sorry." I said quickly and cried into her shoulder and dropped the knife.
"Hush baby, hush." She said and held me close. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
"I killed him mom." I sobbed. "I'm going to go to prison."
"No you're not." She said sternly. "It was self-defense."
"I'm sorry mom."

---

After we talked to the cops that had arrived a few minutes after I killed Josh's dad, we went home.
I was done. I couldn't take it anymore. This was it. I wasn't going to live here anymore. I wasn't going to keep fighting a war I couldn't win.
I stepped out of the car and almost ran into the house, going up to my room and locking my door. I ran over to my dresser and started tearing out all my clothes until I found the black jeans, black shirt and floral kimono that Josh had given me. I changed into it and looked at myself in the mirror.
I'm going to die in this.
I nodded and started going through my closet, searching for the other lengths of rope that I had hidden.
I found a strong one and nodded.
This was it. I was finally going to let go. I was going to be with Josh again.
I climbed out of my window and ran into the forest, the forest where it would all end.
The forest where I would finally have peace.
I didn't care what tree I used. I ran deep into the forest and climbed a random tree, tied the rope around a high branch and tied it around my neck. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I'm coming Josh.
I slid off the branch and felt the noose tighten around my neck.
This was it.

I'm gone now.