| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

T W E L V E

I sat shivering on a park bench, rubbing my hands together for any source of warmth. I hadn't found my way home and even if I had, I wouldn't have went home.
I knew Maddi was worried about me, she always is. I felt the tears running down my face start to freeze and my fingers start to get numb from the horrible cold that had fallen as it got later.
I was tempted to text Josh but I didn't out of pure fear. I knew he hated me after I said we couldn't be together. And it was my fault because I was too scared to come out to my mom.
"It's so fucking cold out here." I cursed quietly to myself, pulling my sweater tighter around me.
Without another second thought, I pulled my phone out and called Josh. I couldn't stay out here all night, I'd freeze to death.
The phone rang a few times before I drowsy Josh answered. "Hello...?"
"J-J-J-Josh..." I shivered, hardly even able to speak.
"Tyler?" He said, sounding quite surprised. "Are you outside?"
"Y-yeah..." I stuttered. "My m-m-mom wo-wouldn't p-pick m-me u-u-up..."
"Oh my god..." Josh whispered into the phone, just barely audible. "How long have you been out there?"
"F-four h-h-hours..." I said, my voice shaking worse.
"Oh my fucking god, Tyler I'm coming to pick you up. Stay where you are." Josh said frantically. "Where are you?"
"I'm a-at t-the p-p-park..." I stuttered, shivering harshly.
"Okay I'll be there soon." Josh said and hung up the phone. I stuffed my phone back onto my pocket, trying my best to stay warm as I waited for him.
Only a few minutes later a car honked behind me and I recognized Josh behind the wheel. I got to my feet shakily and walked over to the car, climbing inside.
"Tyler are you okay?" Josh asked, looking at me with a worried expression.
I put my seatbelt on, catching a few glances at Josh. "I'm f-fine..."
Josh glanced over at me as he started the car. "I know for a fact you aren't." He started to drive off. "Why the hell didn't you call me sooner?"
"I d-d-don't know..." I said, feeling myself go red from embarrassment. I felt so stupid. I knew I should have called him earlier.
"Well at least you're okay now." He said gently, reaching over and shaking my knee.
I sighed and leaned against the car door, staring out into the cold night sky. I wished I could be anywhere else but the car, confined inside with the person I was falling in love with. The person I wouldn't let get hurt. The person I knew I couldn't have. It hurt knowing that I couldn't kiss him, that I couldn't hold his hand. It hurt me so much knowing I had to hurt to keep Josh safe.
"Tyler?" Josh said, reaching over and grabbing my hand. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." I said, pulling my hand away from him.
Josh frowned and rested his hand on my knee. "I'm worried about you."
I sighed and kept looking out he window. "I said I'm fine." I said sharply. "Don't worry about me. I'm insignificant and shouldn't be worried about."
"Don't say that Tyler." Josh half-whispered, half-said.
"Why not?" I said sharply. "It's fucking true."
"No its not Tyler." Josh said, obviously trying to convince me.
"Yes it is!" I snapped, feeling stupidity rush over me as the words spilled out of my mouth.
Josh sighed impatiently and focused back on driving.
I hated myself so much for snapping at him. It wasn't his fault I put myself down all the time, so why did I snap at him? I don't know.
Josh pulled into the driveway of his house and turned the car off but didn't get out. "Tyler."
I turned to look at him. "Huh?" I tried my best not to snap again.
Josh closed his eyes and sighed shakily. "Tyler I want to be with you and only you. I want us to be together, I want to be in love with you and you only."
I started crying. "W-we c-can't b-be t-t-together..."
When I opened my eyes, I was suprised to see Josh crying too. "I can't j-j-just l-let you g-go like T-Tyler."
I fell apart. I became a huge sobbing mess and fell into Josh's arms, Josh crying along with me.
I didn't stop crying for a long time and neither did Josh. I knew we were both hurting but all I could think about was how I was hurting Josh. Truth be told I wanted to be with him but it wouldn't only lead to hurt on his behalf. I couldn't do that to him.
"T-Tyler..." Josh choked out, still holding me on his arms. "I can't let you go."
"I k-know..." I closed my eyes tightly and grabbed a fistful of the sweater he was wearing. "I can't let you go either."
Josh pulled me closer and whispered gently into my ear. "Then don't let me go."
"Then don't let me be gone." I whispered back, more tears falling from my eyes.
It was all crashing down again. Josh hugged me tighter. "Then let me love you. Let us be together."
And at this moment, I said it. "O-okay."
"We can be together...r-right?" He asked.
I nodded, keeping my eyes shut tightly.  Josh's grip tightened around me. I felt for his hand and we intertwined our fingers.
It all felt so right.

---
I feel so accomplish, I'm not late for once 😂
I've been listening to MCR all day and got a spark of inspiration.
Thought I should just share this 😂
Anyways thanks once again for the support on this fic! I love you all!