| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

T H I R T E E N

We started walking inside of Josh's when Josh stopped me.
He looked me straight in the eyes and smiled, looking like he wanted to speak but he didn't.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" I whispered, smiling softly at him.
"Because I want to." He said simply and pulled me into a kiss.
I kissed back as hard as I could and Josh fumbled to open the front door.
I pulled away. "What about your parents?" I said, barely even at a whisper.
"They went out for the night." He whispered and kissed me again. I melted into the kiss and we fumbled inside his house, both If us feeling around for things to hold onto as we made our way to the couch.
Josh's hands snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to him, eliminating what space we had left between us.
We broke apart, gasping for breath. Josh smiled at me and I smiled back, resting my head in the crook of his neck. I felt so safe, so needed at this moment and it felt so real. It felt so amazing to be loved.
We sat down on the couch, Josh holding me tightly as I rested my head in the crook of his neck.
Josh carefully ran his fingers through my hair. "Tyler..." He whispered.
I didn't respond, just closed my eyes and breathed in his warm scent.
"Tyler." He repeated.
"Yeah?" I said, looking up at him.
"We can't stay down here all night." Josh said softly. "My parents are homophobic they'll kill me."
"Okay." I said and we both stood up, walking up the stairs and into his room.
We both stepped inside and Josh closed the door behind us, laying back on his bed.
I climbed on the bed and laid next to him, snuggling close to him.
Naturally, his hands reached down and wrapped securely around my waist pulling me much closer to him.
I started humming a song lowly, a smile spreading across my lips as I said the words in my head.
He's the tear in my heart
I'm alive
"What are you humming Ty?" Josh whispered gently in my ear.
"Nothing." I said simply, still humming lowly and lightly.
"Tell me." Josh almost growled into my ear.
"It's just a song I wrote." I stated, reaching for his hand and intertwining our fingers. "It's nothing, really."
"It sounds like a really good song." Josh said and smiled at me.
"It's called Tear In My Heart." I whispered. "I wrote it a long time ago."
"It sounds like a beautiful song." Josh whispered into my ear and kissed my neck gently.
I smiled and melted into his grip, falling asleep within a matter of seconds.

---

"Josh! What the fuck!"
I jumped awake, my heart pounding.
Josh's head shot up too, the blood draining from his face when he saw who was standing in his room. "Oh uhm...h-hi mom, d-dad..."
"Why the fuck are you laying with this boy?!" His dad yelled, his face becoming bright red from anger.
"S-sir-" I tried to say, but he cut me off.
"Sir nothing!" He yelled. "Get the fuck out of my house faggot!"
I climbed out of bed, grabbing my stuff and running out of the house.
I wanted to start crying so bad.
But I couldn't.
I was too scared to even think straight, so I ran and ran. I didn't even know where I was going.
I just ran until I couldn't anymore.
I ran until my legs gave way, until I fell the ground.
I felt so stupid, I should have known being with Josh meant hiding it from his parents.
I should have known it was dangerous and stupid.
But of course, I let love blind me.
I was slowly letting it destroy me.
I pushed myself to my feet with a cry of agony, running as soon as I was able to regain my balance.
I stopped a few minutes later, sitting down under a tree breathing heavily.
I pulled out my phone and checked my messages, before sending Josh a quick text.
I'm sorry I shouldn't have stayed over. I should have just had you drive me home.
I sent the text, my hands shaking angrily. My head pounded and my body ached, all from the long run. My eyes threatened to break open with tears and my head threatened to burst open from the pain.
Ding.
I looked back down at my phone.
Don't be Tyler, it's fine. They are pist, but I managed to get them believe that the couch was wet and my bed was the only other place for you to sleep. It's okay.
I sighed and laid my head against the trunk of the tree.
My legs shook harshly and my head pounded.
My eyes started fluttering closed, my had starting to feel as if it was floating.
I texted the only person who I could text, the only person besides Josh of course.
Maddi please come pick me up. Mom wouldn't pick me up last night and I've been wandering all night.
I glanced around and sent her that streets that I was nearby, hoping she would come get me.
I doubted it though.
My mom probably told her not to talk to me.
I didn't even know what the fuck I did to deserve that from my mom.
I closed my eyes, pushing sleep away as best as I could.
I was so tired, too tired. I couldn't take the pull of sleep much longer.
Only a few moments later, I feel asleep.

---

Thank you all for being so patient with this update!!!
I've been dealing with a bit of writers block but it seems to be gone now!
Hope you guys like the fic so far!
Love you all from the bottom of my heart!