| Don't Let Me Be Gone |- Joshler

F I V E

Pain.
That is the only thing I could feel when I managed to open my eyes. I was still laying on the forest floor, but I wasn't alone.
No, someone was with me.
"Tyler...?" Josh whispered, worry filling his voice.
I flicked my eyes up to look at him. I was so weak, I couldn't open my mouth let alone talk. I closed my eyes again.
"Tyler, I'm taking you to my house. My mom can help, I promise." Josh said and scooped me up in his arms.
Why did this boy care so much? I was just a worthless waste of skin. Why was he trying to save me? I just didn't understand. Josh ran through the woods carrying me, not even stopping for a rest. My eyes flickered open again and I looked up at him. His face was filled with worry and fear. I tilted my head back and I noticed my side had a dull ache in it. I moved my hands weakly and lifted my shirt.
What I saw scared the living hell out of me.
There was a huge gash along my side, blood steadily draining out of it.
Josh stopped running and looked down on the gash. The blood drained from his face. "Tyler..." Josh whispered and starting running again.
I wanted to tell him to stop, to put me down and let me die but I couldn't speak. I felt uself getting drowsy, the pain fading to a dull ache. Pulling my hand off my side, I cried out in pain. The drowsiness was getting stronger. I couldn't fight it anymore. Closing my eyes, I slipped once again into dark sleep.

---

"Tyler? Tyler c'mon get up!"
The familiar voice startled me awake.
Josh stood above me, his eyes lighting up when he saw I was up. "Mom! Hurry Tyler's up!"
A woman ran into the cold room I was laying in. She sat down in a chair and started to clean my face.
I winced when she went over the cuts on my face. "H-hey...that h-h-hurts..." I choked out weakly x my voice sounding hoarse and broken.
"I know honey." She said sweetly, continuing to clean all of my cuts up.
Why do they care about me so much? I thought, wincing as she grabbed my arm and started to clean those cuts.
Then...
It all came pouring out of me again. She started to clean the gash in my side and I cried, harder than I ever had before.
No, it wasn't the pain from the gash. It was everything but that. She started rubbing my back to try to help, but it only made things worse. I screamed and started scratching at my wrists, causing them to turn bright red. They both just stood there as I screamed, scratched at my wrists and cried.
They just watched. They didn't even try to help.
That was it. I wasn't going to stand by and let them watch me suffer.
"Someone fucking do something!" I screamed, tears still flying down my face.
Josh's mom rushed back to my side and started bandaging my arms and side up. "Okay, there. Tyler you can stay here if you-"
"No. I'm supposed to be home for dinner." I snapped, pushing myself to sit up.
"No. Give me your mom's number, I'll call her and tell her what happened." She insisted, resting a hand on my shoulder.
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I snarled, giving her my mom's number. She walked away and I got up off the table I had been laying on.
"Tyler you can go to my room if you want." Josh offered.
"Whatever." I repeated, sounding more bland.
"Tyler please just let us help you." Josh said, resting a hand on my shoulder.
"I don't fucking need help!" I yelled, turning to face him. "You should have just left me there to die!"
It's was pouring out again. Everything I had held back, everything I kept inside.
Josh stood there silent. I started pulling at my hair. "Its all my fault! Everything! I ruined it all!"
It all came back to me.
The fire, the screams of my parents.
I was only five when it happened. I was playing with a lighter my mom had left out and I dropped it. Everything went up in flames. Our house. Our stuff. My parents.
They didn't get out in time. And it was my fault. My mom now...She is my foster mom.
Josh obviously didn't know what to do with me. "Tyler calm down. Let's go up to my room okay?"
I kept crying but nodded reluctantly.
We walked to his room and Josh guided me to the bed, helping me to sit down.
"Tyler?" He said, worry filling his voice. "What do you mean 'it's all my fault'? What's your fault?"
I shook my head and spoke shakily. "N-n-nothing. D-don't a-a-ask okay?" Josh nodded and tried to hug me but I pushed him away. "Stop it."
Josh nodded, looking quite a bit hurt. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like me."
"No Josh it's not that. I just don't like getting close to people because I always end up hurting them." I said, looking up at him, managing to stop crying.
Josh nodded, a look of pain still spread across his face. I sighed and rubbed my hand across my forehead.
I'm so mean to this boy when all he wants to do is be my friend. I thought and shook my head. Maybe us should stop pushing people away for once.
I closed my eyes and laid back on Josh's bed. "I hope you don't mind if I fall asleep."
"Oh no I don't mind." Josh said, not looking back at me.
I sighed and pulled my legs onto the bed.
I waited for what seemed like forever, but sleep wouldn't take me. "Josh?"
"Hmm?" He hummed, still not looking at me.
"I'm sorry for everything I said to you." I apologized, hoping he would look at me.
"It's fine." He said.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "No it's not. What I said wasn't right. I'm sorry Josh."
Josh finally turned to look at me. "I accept your apology." He mumbled.
"Thank you." I whispered, feeling somewhat better.
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