The next morning arrives too early, but I have already made my decision. Shawn returns early after the doctors made one last check up. He gives me clothing which I put on slowly, as he leaves the room and returns a couple of minutes later. As I'm slipping on the last item, a giant sweater, I have no idea how I am going to tell him that I want to go back to my apartment. He helps me push my head through the hole and he moves my hair out of my face. He sits me down on the bed and pulls all my hair behind, and begins separating the pieces into three, braiding it and securing it with an elastic.
"Shawn" I begin, my voice cracking as I try to form the next words.
"I have something for you." He says with a smile, handing me his backpack. "Open it."
So I do and inside is a little lion teddy. I take it, dropping the backpack on the ground, and hold it to my chest. This way just making everything so much harder. How are you supposed to walk away from the one that you want to be with? I put the teddy back into the bag and hand it back to Shawn to carry. My heart aches as we begin leaving the hospital. I am strong enough to walk and once stepping through the main doors, lights flash and bodies push towards us. People are screaming and shoving towards us. The world begins to spin as I try to walk and I reach forward holding onto Shawn's arm with all my strength, focused on the car parked right in front of us.
Girls scream at me, saying the nastiest of words, throwing objects at me, one hurting more than the rest until I stumble to my knees loosing my grip on Shawn. They surround me and continue to yell. I cannot concentrate, the world is spinning too quickly. Bigger men push the crowds away and an arm wraps around my waist and pulls me up and into the car, which speeds off quickly.
I fall back into the back seat and rest against the body behind me. I look up to his caramel eyes and cannot hold back my tears. I can't do it. I can't break my heart to walk away from him. I need him. No matter how much I do want to take his life away.
I fall asleep on him and wake up as he places me on the bed, and pulling the blankets over my legs. He hands me the little lion, which I decided will be Leonard. I sleep for a long time and when I wake up, the sun is shining and the fresh morning air comes through the open window. I finally move my legs to the edge of the bed. On the nightstand is the same white piece of paper. I take it and stand. My legs now sturdy and strong as I try to stand. I open it as I walk to the open window and begin reading it.
Dear Annie,
I don't know how to explain these past few days, and I never knew it would be possible to fall in love in such a short amount of time, but Annie, I'm falling for you so hard that I cannot breathe. I never want to leave your side, not even for a second because I am afraid that you will disappear as if you were a dream the entire time. Even if our time together will be short, I want to spend every minute with you. You make me feel as if I am myself entirely and you accept me for who I am. I do not have to pretend or act differently. I can just be me.
I know that you want to leave and return to your home, but I am begging you. Please don't go.
Shawn
I stare at the words as I lean against the window frame. When I read them over again, I feel the burning in the pit of my chest again and I finally know what it is. Love.
"You finally read it." He whispers behind me. I turn slowly to Shawn standing in the doorway. I wipe my cheek which comes away with tears, and I cannot help but smile.
It two steps he crosses the room and places both hands on either side of my face and brings down his lips to mine. The kiss I have been craving and now that we are kissing, I never want to stop. I want to explore every breath of his and never leave his arms. I never want to leave his spot as we kiss softly. He pulls away finally and his thumbs gently caress my face, wiping away the tears.
"I'm in love with you Annie. Please don't go."
"Shawn, you know I have to." My voices cracks as I speak the words I need to say. I need to say goodbye to him before it is too late.
"I'll cancel my tour. We can travel using all my money, we can do anything that you want. Please ill do anything for you to stay. Just please stay. Don't leave me. I need you, Annie." He begs.
"I will not be the reason you lose your career and your life. You will be the greatest thing this world has ever seen. You will get to live your life to the fullest. You will meet someone who you are meant to be. I am going to go home now, Shawn. Please take me home and let me say goodbye."
The whole drive up to my apartment, he did not speak a word, and from the corner of my eye, I can see he is straining to hold back the tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. I know what I am doing is right, but my own heart is breaking as he pulls up to the building. Shawn reaches into the back seat and places Leonard on my lap. I play with the fur and I go to open the door but he takes hold of my chin and turns my face to his. Our lips connect and I am lost in the world of bliss and waterfalls. So soft, so sweet, so simple. I never want to leave. We desperately cling to each other, my fingers exploring his soft hair, his hands trailing down my back until he finally pulls away holding onto both sides of my shoulders.
"Why do you want to walk away from this?" He questions, hurt burning in his eyes. I open the door.
"Goodbye Shawn."
YOU ARE READING
The Distance Between Us - A Shawn Mendes Fanfiction
Fanfiction~~ Completed~~~~ What would you do? He was going to travel the world, and I was going to be stuck here alone. I couldn't tell him to stay, no matter how much I wanted him to. I couldn't take away his dreams just because I wanted to be with him, so...
