My Mistress

Chapter 19

My question hung above us. Not bother answering, Mistress pulled me out of my thoughts and led me towards the blanket. There we sat, enjoying the quiet.

I rocked back and forth, not really knowing what to expect, "So, now what?"

My thoughts are racing, so is my heart when she took my hand in hers. Her eyes pierced into me too intensely, I had to resist the urge to look away.

I took a peek at her lips before repeating my question from before that she oh so conveniently ignored, "Why?" I asked, staring into her just as intense.

I saw her swallow before opening her mouth but not a word came out. This made me frown as a million thoughts bothered my mind. With her acting like this, she looked a lot like a school girl about to be punished. It's cute.

She looked so torn, I have a hunch she's nervous and so I asked, "Are you okay?"

She grabbed the bottle instead and poured both of us a drink, offering mine. I took it and observed the dark tint of the swaying liquid.

Why is she acting weird? This, her, doing this to me and everything is overwhelming already. I don't think I can take another one of a crazy event or something.

She looked away and cleared her throat. This time, she gazed back at me with tender eyes. My eyes widened a fraction. I don't know what to make of things now.

Her lips parted and closed several times. If she weren't in such a serious commotion, I would have laughed. She looked a lot like a fish.

The look she's giving me made me shiver to the bones. What shook my very soul was the lie that she said, which ironically sounded so sincere.

"Because I love you."

I was dumbstruck, "What?" I asked before shaking my head, not quite understanding her. "You're apologizing... because you love me?" I felt my brows meet in the middle, "That can't be right. You aren't quite making sense, Mistress," I told her honestly.

Her eyes had a misty tint but not teary. I saw her swallow again, "It's the truth and for that I apologize," she said quietly, as if scared that someone might hear her.

"I don't understand. You're lying," I accused, not sure if I'm convincing myself or her and so I added, "You can't possibly say you love me all of a sudden? Mistress, I'm one of your servants," I said reminding her of what I am.

She downed her glass of wine in haste before she held my hand against her heart, peering at me making my heart race along with her heartbeat, "Please, don't hate me."

She's not making sense at all, "Why would I hate you?" I asked. "Just tell me what's going on. All of this is too much already, honestly," I said before taking a sip. The bitter taste of it burning my tongue. I grimaced at the taste and put it away before looking back at Mistress.

A ghost of a smile plastered on her beautiful face, probably from my reaction. It went away as quickly as it appeared and her sexy serious expression returned.

"There's something you need to know," she started. I didn't say anything and waited for her to continue. She took a deep breath that sounded so heavy, "I'm sorry for all those years. All of those wasted years. I couldn't bring myself to... to be with you. Not after what I've done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for loving you too much."

I looked at her, confusion visible as day on my face, "What? I'm sorry, you lost me along the way."

She sighed before answering, "I'm the reason why you're here," she said, peering at me behind those long curvy lashes. She couldn't seem to continue and just poured herself another glass.