We Know Better

The Holidays

Christmas morning, the first thing that I hear is my father screaming at the bottom on the stairs. He is ranting about the house needing to be cleaned before our family arrives. My stomach is curling as I crawl out of bed. A moment or two later, my mother enters into my room with a sullen face. We share a look of exasperation as we silently acknowledge that this is yet another Christmas off to a horrendous start. It has become more of a tradition than opening gifts in our household.

Nearly two hours later, the first of our family starts to show up and me and my mother sulk off to go get ready since we have spent the time working. It is hard to maintain a fake set of smiles for everyone, but somehow, we manage. Just as I am getting out of the shower, my sister pokes her head into my room. It always makes me happy when I see her. She takes up post on my bed while she watches me get ready in front of the mirror. It does not take her very long before she asks about the Brendon situation, and I fill her in on the recent developments. There is a broad, knowing smile on her face when she tells me that she is so happy to hear about where we are, especially compared to the last time I saw her, before the dance.

A bit after we finish that conversation up, Alessa enters into my room. Alessa spending Christmas with my family has also been a long-standing tradition. Her presents are under the tree right next to my sister's and mine. The reason she spends it with us is a by-product of her grandparent's not celebrating Christmas on account of their religion and her family's penchant of deciding other events are more important than each other. Nevertheless, we have always made it known and obvious that she is welcome whenever.

We are summoned downstairs and the gender roles begin. The women are piled in the kitchen and the boys pile themselves in front of the TV. For a while, they take over the main TV until someone speaks up and tells them that they either watch what the women doing actual work want to watch or they can leave. That person is me. I actually do a lot less speaking, and instead take the remote and flip to a music channel that I know my mom enjoys. Only when they complain do I offer them the ultimatum. Today is not the day for them to question me, I am not in the mood. My mother gives me a wink and when I pass by her, she wraps her arm around me, holding me next to her for a moment, and then kisses me as a thank you before letting me go again.

One good thing about the holidays: access to alcohol. My mom knows what I like and my borderline alcoholic aunt is always happy to make sure I have enough. Most of the day, I casually drink Smirnoffs like they're soda. It makes me feel looser but not too much different.

At some point, my sister, Alessa, and I are sitting at the table munching on a couple of snacks. My sister asks about how Brendon liked his gift. Immediately, I tense up, because I have not really told Alessa much about us. I do my best to play it off and answer her enough that we move topics. Of course, Alessa asks another question about him and I can see on her face that she knows see is in the dark too. After I answer that, we thankfully drop it yet I can see it in Alessa's eyes: this is not over.

When about three finally rolls around, my sister and I are fed up with waiting, so we announce that with or without everyone else, presents are getting opened. Alessa sits next to me in front of the cold fireplace that is perfectly positioned right next to the tree. The three of us set out handing gifts to everyone. While the "adults," my sister not included, are opening theirs, us three quietly go to work opening ours. I open a bunch of books that my mom got for me off of my list. There are a few pieces of clothing and other what-nots. Just as I am opening my gift from Alessa and she is opening mine, everyone realizes that we have been in our own little corner. She got me a few things, but the most prominent gift is the red resin stacking ring with gold flakes inside of it. My face lights up as I look over at her to see that she is opening an identical ring from me that is blue. When recognition flashes across her face, she whips her head toward me with an equally huge grin.