I have a heart? ー BEN Drowned x Reader

Ch. 26 - Goodbye

"I love you, Y/N." He stopped himself. "At least... I think I do."
He breathed slowly, his eyes flickering between you and the floor.
"Do you?" He seemed sincere. After all you had gone through, after all you had endured, you couldn't bring yourself to say yes, but you also couldn't bring yourself to say no.
Those indescribable feelings you felt when you first met him manifested themselves again and you swallowed.
"Yes, Ben, I love you." You lied. Or confessed? Were you lying to yourself or to him? Did you really love him? You had almost died because of him. But you had also survived because of him. He was the cause of all your troubles and the solution to them. You hated that you loved him, and loved that you hated him.
He slowly reached over and held your hand, squeezing it gently. The computer-warmth he emanated was the closest thing to home now. The familiarity of it all threw a wave of emotions that almost made you kiss him.
He felt lovely and soft, almost like a human. Almost. The truth is, he wasn't and he wouldn't ever be. He would always be that monster that was designed to kill, a homicidal machine that dripped oil out of his blood-red eyes, with ruffly, golden hair and a stupid Link outfit.
You rested your head on his shoulder, unaware of your true feelings. You shouldn't love him. But you did. So you gradually lifted your chin up, and softly rested your lips on his. He seemed startled at the weird action, but followed your flow. It was sloppy but enjoyable, like a first kiss with your crush in fifth grade. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight, as if he were never going to see you again. As if this were goodbye. Was it?

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Should I write a smut version of this chapter? Or would you guys prefer we keep it fluff? Please answer in the comments! I've never written smut before, but if that's what you guys want, I'd be fine with doing research.