No One Else Like You

(26) Nothing To Wear

"Mira...what's this?" Aman asks as he enters the room, he gave me to stay in.

My heart beats were so fast. "You know..."

"You want to get back together?"

Aman should have at least not come inside the room shirtless. If he was planning to break my heart, at least he shouldn't while looking hot.

"You should wear something," and I threw the first thing that I could grab and  turned around. "Wear and we will talk."

As I walked away from him, he grabbed my hand. "Mira, this is a pillow and don't try to run away."

"Yes, I want to get back together! Why else do you think I wrote you this letter?"

He sighed and he looked at the letter. "Mira, I forgave you a long time back. I can't hold grudges from you."

"So..but do you want to get back together?"

He didn't say anything and his two minute silence felt like it was going to last eternally.

"I ..don't know ..Mira. Why do you want to get back together with me? Didn't you say you wanted a divorce?"

Yes, I did and I am still not sure. Every time I think of you, Alicia Key's 'falling' starts playing in my mind. Truth be told, ever since we have separated there has been a huge, huge hole in my chest. At least that's how I feel like. I am too cool to say heart, so I am going to say chest.
Anyway, sometimes I really don't want to be with you but then if you are only a few inches away from me then all that comes to my mind is that I should start kissing you. Do you see the problem? It's so confusing.
I can't count how many times you have put me in doubts or made me feel like you don't appreciate me at all. But then I can't count how many times you have made me happy or made me laugh and made me forget all other troubles.
I hate that you lie to me, I hate that you put on a pretense, I hate that you never make any efforts to solve a problem between us.I hate that you took me for granted.But staying away doesn't seem to the solution anymore.

It is so much easier to say all this in my head than to him. I wish he could read my mind.

"Yeah I did but..I don't want it anymore."

"Mira..you packed your things and left."

"How many times did you try to get me to come back Aman?" Not even once.

He fell silent.

"I was angry. I didn't think that our problem was that big that you would just take all your belongings and leave."

"Maybe that wasn't the solution. But I needed to stay away from you."

"So now you are ready to come back? Do you think this is how it is going to work? You can come back and leave as many times as you want?" He looked angry.

"I guess this isn't going to work. Maybe we shouldn't get back together." I said, turning away and trying to hide my tears.

He looked at me and started to leave.

He left me in the room alone now.

What just happened?

I went to the living room and he was standing there, doing something on his cell. "This isn't how I wanted it to go."

"You are bad at making up," he replied without looking at me.

"You are really bad at giving apologies, they don't seem heartfelt at all."

"You want an apology? I said sorry for leaving for Mumbai when you needed me after your miscarriage. I said sorry for lying. Now if you want me to bend down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness, then I am sorry miss. It isn't going to happen."

That was extremely harsh. The last thing I expected from him was that. "Oh..okay."

"Maybe I am not the guy you want for yourself Mira."

"You are right. You are not."

"I appreciate your honesty.."

"I am not finished."

He waited for me to continue. "You are better. My imagination wasn't good enough to be able to imagine you."

"Mira...I want us to be happy that's all. Together."

"Me too."

"Maybe we can try, to work things out. We have time. We don't have to rush."

"I guess trying is okay."

He smiled. "It's been awhile. Let's go out for dinner tonight? You and me?"

"Sure." I felf a little happy. Finally some time with Aman where I don't have to put any resistance against my feelings for him.

He informed me that he had to go for some work. He put on a shirt and left. While I had about an hour to get ready before he would come back.

First, I took a shower. And then came a problem.

What can I wear that looks good on me and still fits? I had practically nothing fancy or even a bit dressy to wear that would fit my pregnant body. And so much changing of places lead to most of my dresses being either at mom's place or my new apartment.

And right now I was at Aman's, place. Its not like he is going to care what I wear. He understands that I have gained weight.

But.. I want tonight to be perfect. I definitely need it after so much confusion and hurt and..staying apart.

I called up Rhea. She finally picked.

"I am going on a date!"

"Mira not again!! Didn't you learn something by going out with Raven when you were living with Aman. Do it again and it will hurt him once more. And by the way how many step fathers are you planning to get this baby?"

"Rheaa...shut up! I am going on a date with Aman."

" Really? I am so happy! So whats the issue?? You sounded nervous!"

"Nothing to wear."

"Oh come on. Where whatever you are comfortable in. It's Aman."

"No, I want tonight to be perfect."

"Are you in one of your horny phases? It happens in pregnancy."

"NO! Geez. Whats wrong with you?"

**

After she turned out to be no help at all, the bell rang.

Great, Aman was back and I was Still wrapped in a towel. I can't even say I am looking sexy because I do have a baby bump.

I opened the door and he smiled. "Hey.." and he kissed me on the forehead. "Why are you not ready at yet?"

After a little pause, I replied. "Honestly, because I have nothing to wear. Nothing good enough fits."

"Then we won't go to any place too fancy. Its about us spending more time together right than the place we go to?" And he kissed my cheek. "Wear whatever you like."

"Right." I replied. Also can you kiss me again?

And then I went back in to get ready.

Maybe we can work things out.