No One Else Like You

(24) Awkward.

I am feeling so ugly. My clothes are not fitting me, I get a new pimple every third day and I am not even eating properly. Due to constant throwing up, I have developed an aversion to eating so we are at  the doctors.

Who is we ?

Raven, Aman and myself.

After last night, when Raven visited he saw Aman and decided to give us our 'privacy' and told me, he would join me in the morning at work. At work, I was feeling so sick and mostly weak that he accompanied me here and since I had informed Aman as well, he came as soon as he could.

Talk about awkward. They are not even speaking, they are just busy on their phones. Since I didn't make an appointment, I have to wait for my turn. I just wish, this day would end already.

Who said pregnancy was about glowing? I don't have any glow, tanned is what I am getting due to this new public campaign at work.

"When do you think you will take leave ?" Raven asked. Thank god, some conservation at last.

"I plan on working as long as I can," I said. "Then when the baby comes, I guess we will see from there."

"You don't even look pregnant," he remarked.

"Excuse me, can't you see this?" I pointed at my little bump. "Wait, do you think when anyone sees me they just assume that I am fat?"

"Miiiiiiiraaaaaa," Raven said irritated. "I mean, you look pretty."

"I hardly feel pretty," I replied. "I feel ugly and exhausted. And since the house is being painted, the smell is killing me. I can't even catch a little sleep at night. I don't want to go to mom's cause my sister can be really annoying since she has taken up drum lessons and that house now is no less than a zoo. And how long can you crash at a friend's place?"

"You can stay at mine," Raven replied.

I didn't know what to say. But before I said anything, Aman finally opened his mouth.

"She will stay with me till her place is being remodeled. But thanks, Raven."

I almost felt like someone awarded me the noble prize. Riya's idea worked real good. The fumes were not really bothering me but I wasn't getting any time to spend with Aman. Although the noise due to all the labour was kind of annoying. Although my sister hadn't taken up any drumming, that was just a lie.

"Aman...," I began but he interrupted.

"Don't worry Mira, I won't bother you. I have a cook, a cleaning lady. I am actually living on the floor above my new office. It's pretty spacious, I won't even be in your way."

Why does he have to be this way? I suddenly felt completely sad. He thinks living with him will bother me.

"Mira, you okay?" Raven asked.

"Yes, yes..," I replied. "I feel thirsty, that's all."

"i will get you some water," he said and got up.

As he left, Aman looked at me. "Wow," he said.

"What?"

"He is still in love with you, even though you are pregnant."

"He is just being a friend!"

He didn't reply.

"How long are you going to be this way?" i asked now completely annoyed.

"What way?"

I got up, now completely irritated. " This new cold and distant version of you. I can't take this anymore!" I said  and stomped my foot on the floor.

He looked at me perplexed. "Are you a teenager?"

"Please stop being so rude and and....And ..soo far away from me," I replied now almost in the verge of tears.

Damn it, I cry too much sometimes.
Now he was looking at me with his small eyes wide open.

"Far away? I am standing right here," he said confused. "Do you want me to come and sit closer to you?" He got up and sat beside me.

He can be so clueless sometimes.

"That's not what I meant," I replied. "Nevermind."

"I don't mean to be rude Mira," he said simply. "Let's go for lunch after this. You haven't eaten anything."

Raven joined us with water in hand. I gulped down the liquid with feelings of triumph.

**

I have to make this guy fall in love with me all over again. We have had our differences but divorce wasn't the solution. It wasn't because I have not stopper loving him any less. I still care about him and I am still happy like a little teenager when he is around me.

We are so different, there is no doubt about that. But I don't think that is an obstacle in anyway. At least not anymore. Because he is the guy who watched Disney movies with me at nights and acted like he enjoyed them.

Even now when something new, exciting or sad happens, I still think of him as the first person that I want to tell.

He whether like it or not but he is being with me for the rest of his life and I am going to make sure of that.

There is no use worrying about the future the only thing I did by that was ruin my present. Yeah, things got a little rough or maybe a lot rough but that doesn't mean you just run away from it. I didn't even try. I don't think I  gave my hundred percent to fix things.

He was the only one trying and maybe that's why he gave up too.

" Mira?" Aman interrupted my thought process. "Can you get inside the car please?"

I was just standing in front of the car, lost in thoughts like a dummy.

I am going to apologise and tell him I want to try again tonight. No matter what. I am not going to be scared that he might say no.

**