The Air I Would kill to Breathe

CHAPTER 26 (Only You)

I pushed the door and found the place packed with a lot of people who need their caffeine fix. I found my assistant third in line texting.

I scanned the area.

Instead of finding ny sister, I found Ethan. He's wearing a white V-neck shirt and faded blue jeans. He's wearing his wayfarers that he immediately removed as soon as he saw me.

He stood up, smiling at me.

I walked towards him.

"You used my sister? Really? You're just classic, Ethan. How can you be so childish?" I crossed my arms and stared at him.

"Can you just sit down for a while? Come on." I sighed and took the seat across him.

"Now what? What do you really want?" I asked.

"You know what I want. Even your sister wants the both of us to end up together so she can get the doctor."

"What?"

"Oh come on, Aria. Your sister is fond of that guy. I knew it back then."

"How did you know?"

"I saw her staring at him when I was about to visit you and instead, I found the both of them in an awkward facade. It was electric, Aria. Your boyfriend is attracted to your sister, and that I guarantee." He casually said as he sips his usual caramel macchiato.

"Aria, you don't even care about the guy anymore. How about you let him be with Annie and just come back to me?"

"What? How can you say that? You already have a fancy fiancee." He leaned on his back and crossed his legs.

"Little Aria, Jessica and I are over. She broke up with me and yes, it hurt my ego but I was mostly relieved that it didn't come from me. I was about to break up with her."

I took a deep breath. "But you hated me when you thought I was taunting her."

"It's all for the show, Aria. I was nervous as fuck. Of course my insides were tumbling and grumbling. I was scared and excited at the same time. Even if you broke up with me, I can't seem to hate you. I wasn't bitter at all. It's as if loneliness embraced me instead. No matter how hard I tried, I can't hate you because I love you so much, Aria."

I stared at my hands. I can't seem to face him. My cheeks are burning and my chest is making a festive drum parade.

"Aria, I'll do my best to win you again. I'll even stake my whole life for it. I have nothing to lose anyway. Right? Do you really think I have anything to lose? I'm fighting this war naked and unprotected, Aria. I'm willing to be shot and stabbed just to get you back. I'm that desperate."

I cleared my throat. "It's not that easy, Ethan. Every time I look at you, I remember the time you were crying hard. I broke your heart-"

"...and I broke your soul, Aria." He reached for my hand and I can feel all the strength in me drain.

"My parents still don't approve of you. My father hates you so much, Ethan. He despises your very existence. Are you even prepared?"

He looked at me with teary eyes. "Yes. I told you, I'm prepared to be shot and stabbed. I have nothing to lose that's why I have nothing to be scared of."

"God, I love you so much Ethan Jennings. You drive me to insanity."

-=-=-=-=-=-

Annie remained mum about her feelings towards Michael. I can't help but think about the times he kept asking about my sister. He's a little more concerned than what's necessary and maybe it's his atttaction to her. I can't ask him about that knowing he once offered me marriage.

He moved out and it was a calm conversation. He looked relieved when he drove away from our apartment. I guess he realized how much time we've already wasted with each other. Yes, he did care for me but the feelings he showered me were left abandoned. It was difficult for me to reciprocate all of it. It's as if I've become selfish.

My sister Christine who's currently an intern at the hospital he works at remained to stay with me. Annie on the other hand, felt embarrassed to talk to me abput her hidden feeling towards my ex boyfriend. She's a young woman in her blossoming stage. She will recover from this. I'm in now way mad at her.

After all, it's not a sin to fall in love.

Michael is a handsome man, plus he's a doctor. Everyone would be crazy about him.

He's not just for me.

Ethan continued to visit me everyday. He's not rushing into getting back together again. He's taking things slow. After all, we've been separated for a long time and it changed a lot of things.

We've matured, grown up and gotten wiser. Things will not ve easy for the both of us. The past will continue to haunt us and forgiveness is still out of the picture.

Andrew was never sorry about what he did. I'm scared that one day, he would be out of jail and he would avenge his imprisonment. I'm honestly afraid of that day.

He's a very dangerous person and I've learned that the gruesome way. He's manipulative, cunning and monstrous. His delight for darkness overpowers him, which drove him to total destruction.

The thought of Andrew forms a huge lumps on my throat. In some ways, I remember all the ghastly things he did. They all unfold before my eyes. It scares me that I can't even calm myself whenever I have nightmares.

I guess life is just like this for me. I have both heaven and hell, but one thing's for sure; life goes on. Maybe I haven't moved on because I was too afraid of the past. Maybe I needed some consoling. Maybe I needed some bitch slap to awaken me from cowardliness. 

Do I love life? Hell yes.