The Air I Would kill to Breathe

CHAPTER 26 (Only You)

I had no idea that this would be difficult to accept. Facing the harsh reality didn't just wake up; it slapped me. I was dreaming and when it's time to wake up, I find it so hard to process.

I attended two meetings today and one of those is the pro bono case I'm planning to take. It's been my legacy to help people. It's like providing a silver lining to people who've lost their way to sanity.

How does it feel to find your salvation?

"Atty. Park?" I looked at Mitchell, a new lawyer at the firm. He became my assistant just a week ago and he sticks like a gum to me all the time. Plus, he asks a lot of unnecessary questions I don't intend to answer.

"Yeah?" I said while tapping my fingers on my table.

"Do you prefer decaf? Cold beverage or tea?" I rolled my eyes.

"Just get me an iced Americano with a shot of espresso." He smiled in satisfaction and went out of my office. He's like a teacher's pet who needs a lot of praises and recognition.

I took a deep breath and finally replied to Ethan's seriess of emails that I can't get out of my head.

I was actually ready to let him go with all my might. I do, I promise.

But he got other plans. He wants to win me back. But why? I'm a tarnished woman. I can't just ditch my boyfriend and what about Jessica? She's an amazing woman. Why would he prefer someone like me?

Still, the fact remains that I still love him despite everything. He's the first thing I see in the morning even if he's not there. I can hear his voice whispering sweet nothings on my ear like a schizophrenic.

I can even feel his lips against mine everytime I fall asleep. I dream about him all the time and no matter how hard I try, I always end up with one word.

ETHAN

How can that be?

My phone started ringing and I ignored it. I'm not in the mood to answer annoying phone calls right now. My head is floating at this moment.

Then it rang for the second time. I can't believe that this person won't stop calling me. This could be Ethan again. Ugh. I took a shot of brandy and took the phone out of my pocket.

To my surprise, it's my sister Annie who's calling me right now. But why? She probably has classes and she rarely calls me. Is it because of what she confessed? I actually didn't know how to respond to her.

First, I didn't feel any jealousy at all. I feel guilty knowing that I don't love Michael. I feel... relieved at the same time because I'm no longer confused.

Second, I'm glad that Annie's opening up to me again. She stopped confiding in me for the last five years. It was difficult for her to talk to me. She was too afraid to break me. She treated me like a fragile glass that needed protection and it somehow have an effect to her personality.

Lastly, I'm wishing that Michael would fall in love with someone else. Why? So I can at least remove half of the guilt I carry everyday.

Is it that hard to as for? Maybe it is after all, right?

"Hello?"

"Aria, can we meet?"

"What? You're at school and few states away from me."

I could hear her take a deep breath. "I'm here at the bakeshop in front of your building. Just come out. Hear me out for awhile. It won't last long. Make sure you hear it all. Don't leave when you get the- here."

"Wait, what? Why? Uhmm... okay, I'm coming out." Why would Annie be here?

I put on my white pumps and rushed outside to meet my sister.