The Air I Would kill to Breathe

CHAPTER 10 (Desperate)

Atty. Park,

Your recovery is in our prayers. Keep yourself safe and healthy.

George Miller
Sunset Air, CEO

Mr. Miller sent three buckets of flowers in my room that Michael received. They're combination of pale pink and blue roses. I don't know why he did but it's obviously to remind me that I need to get better quicklu to save his daughter from a complete disgrace. Of course, that's basically normal for parents to protect their precious child.  My appa and umma loves me and protected me during the time I used to think that I should follow the American way of living. I believed that I should at least experience good parties with alcohol, loud music and sex.

Funny thing is when I experienced it, I hated the first hour and left immediately, ran like someone was chasing me. Something was actually chasing me; it was the fear of failure. I smelled failure in those parties and after a few years, I wasn't wrong. Most of them are rich but weren't able to get into good universities because they're too busy getting drunk than studying for SATs. They ended up with nothing much. One girl ended up becoming an amateur porn star, the other guy became a gas station boy, and the queen bee became a teen mom and still doesn't know who the father is since she slept around.

I got nothing against to those people 'cause it made me sad at some point that we didn't share the same passion. I was really passionate with my academics and extra curricular. I played tennis and excelled in women's singles. I was the perfect Asian girl at school that you can't bully.

I felt proud that very day, when I got a  very good score on my SATs. I can enroll everywhere, especially Lindbergh University where the best Law school is. I was so happy that we went on a trip to celebrate. We went to Korea and travelled to Busan, Gangnam and especially Seoul. I felt that I deserved to be rewarded. I deserved it a lot more than anybody else. I worked hard for it like I'm dying. I sacrificed sleep, dating and friendship. That's the reason why i don't have friends, well i got two. I have Stacey and Margaret who are both living in New York (because they're twins).

I aced my tests when i was still a Political Science student, trying to pave my way to Law school because it's my dream. No one forced me to enter law school, my parents just pressured me to choose a job that matters. It's engraved in my head that i need to matter in this society. I should matter that people will respect me a lot. I should be titled but not necessarily a doctor. I am smart, but not that brave enough to handle cadavers.

Being a lawyer matters a lot because it can save the innocent and convict the sinners. I sound like a total hero, but this hero is sick, weak and tired. I don't know what's the catch in all this. I am so tired living this life. I am so tired.

"Michael,can you get rid of the flowers? I feel like I'm dead with these in here." He just giggled and check the dextrose then jotted something on his metal clipboard.

"No. Flowers have a good role in therapy. You need to relax your mind and stop being a whiny lady." I rolled my eyes and he just giggled. How I wish I love him like how I love Ethan. I just wish that all of me is his. My insides are slowly going downward spiral whenever I'm thinking about Ethan instead of him. He was here all along. He was there when I was badly hurt. He was there.

"You have to make sure they discharge me tomorrow. Christine will live at home for a week to make sure I'm okay while she's checking her internship here at the hospital. Is that okay?" He just smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Of course. I really want to bond with your sisters especially with her since we're on the same field." I smiled. Actually, Christine started out a little late at school. She's already 26 no one actually seem to think that she is. Well, our Asian genes have to do with that. She looks barely 18.