Following In Your Direction [One Direction: Zayn Malik Romance]

15. Skipped Goodbyes

                I shrugged, not promising anything. “So, how have you and Liam been? Are you excited the tour will be over soon?”

                “Honestly, yes. I can’t wait until I can see him every day in person.” She told me.

                I smiled, “Aw!”

                “But… What are you and Zayn going to do? Are you going back to America and he’ll be staying here in England?” Danielle questioned.

I hated this question.

                “I don’t – Oh, hey Liam! You can take her back, we’re done.”

                Thankfully, I was saved by the Liam when he walked back in, looking at me questioningly. I sent an accusing-looking Danielle a quick wave and smile before hopping off the bed and crawling in my own… just as Zayn walked in. Quickly, I slipped under my covers, turning on my side so I wouldn’t have to face him right now.

                I heard him sigh in my direction before I forced myself to go to sleep.

***

                Touring seemed to take more out of me now. This was the third day that I haven’t spoken to Zayn and, ironically, it has also been the third day of touring hell. My legs ache just as bad as my heart, not to mention the constant headache I receive now when reporters scream questions about Zayn and my’s relationship.

                Honestly, it was the worst. But to top it all off, as we did our third show in England, I sat backstage forcing myself to read the hate mail I receive. The hate tweets and emails I used to ignore, but now it was like I was drawn to a reason to be upset. Some hate mail made my eyes drift to the next words, but some made my heart break in half as I saw what people thought of me.

You’re a slut.

You don’t deserve to date Zayn.

You’re ditzy.

You flirt with the other guys all the time.

You’re fat.

You’re a huge bitch.

                They were repeated and bolded enough times to make tears want to stream out of my eyes. This is what people thought of me when they saw me? I bit my lip to choke back a sob as I wondered what life would be like if I just dropped the tour and went back home to live a normal life again. People didn’t come places to see me – they came to see One Direction. All the fans? Here for One Direction. All the cheers? Supporting One Direction. It was never me, so what would happen if I just left?

                The idea to leave intrigued me to a point where I glanced at the exit right this moment, wondering what would happen if I just gathered my things from the tour bus now and left. What got me in this sad mood, I have no idea, but all I knew was that I seemed to have more hate mail then fan mail, and if I was really good at singing and guitar, then I wouldn’t be hated. Maybe everything I used to love was a lie – maybe I was never meant for any of this.

                And that is exactly what motivated me to do what I did next. In the midst of their set, I wrote a frantic letter to all five members of One Direction before picking up my guitar case by the seat and slipping out the exit and back onto the tour bus. Tears gathered in my eyes as I scrambled to gather my clothes, whatever I left behind being small and unmemorable. When I was ready to leave, I got out of the tour bus, casting a glance at the venue to just hear all of the chants and screams for the band.

                “It’ll be good if I left,” I told myself aloud, trying to reinforce the idea.

                After calling for a cab, I hopped in, looking out the window and waiting to arrive at the airport – where I would buy a one way ticket back home.

~Zayn Malik POV~

                Panting, the lads and I got off stage with one last wave and grin to the crowd. Really, they were amazing, but I was a bit too focused on Rose the whole concert, thinking of her beautiful smile – the same one that she never gives to me anymore. When I reached the back stage though, I couldn’t find her, but instead found a crumpled piece of paper in her absence.

                My eyes scanned the paper as I read in my head:

                Dear guys,

                                I left. I’m sorry this is sudden and I haven’t gotten the chance to hug you all one last time or say goodbye, but it’s easier this way. I’ll still be cheering for you guys from America.

                Love,

                                Rose.

                My heart clenched as I reread the paper, unable to believe this. She hadn’t said anything about us! Surely she had to know I still cared for her, or she wouldn’t have left us – right? What did this even mean anymore? The lads came behind me as they grew quieter, making me turn around with different emotions swirling in my brown eyes. I threw the note at them and ran out the exit, straight for the tour bus.

                She was still in there, right? She had to be! Rose wouldn’t just leave without saying goodbye – not really, right? But when I reached the tour bus, all that was left in her wake were the messed up sheets and few items – clips and hairbands – that she had failed to take with her during her frantic packing up. I collapsed onto his bed with my head in my hands, unable to believe the sudden reality. Rose is gone.

                “Zayn…” Liam said, sitting on the bed beside me and putting a hand on my shoulder. “Lad, I…”

                He didn’t know what to say. But I can’t say I blamed him because neither did I. Rose was gone, in the simplest form, without leaving us the slightest reason why. She hated saying goodbye, but she really couldn't just wait for us to finish our set to talk to us? To give me a chance or a glimmer of hope to make me convince her to stay with us, to tell her the truth?

                The truth? It was that I was sorry, and if I ever saw her as upset as I made her in the hotel again, I was going to kick myself in the bullocks. She deserved to be treated like a Princess, but I had told her - purely out of anger - that she was stupid and shallow. What was wrong with me? Had I officially driven her to leaving?

              Again, my heart clenched as I heard the lads shuffle away from the scene of the crime. Slowly, I let myself curl underneath her bedsheets, inhaling the intoxicating scent of Rose before shutting my eyes, telling myself to fall asleep. That maybe I'll wake up and she'll be in my arms, dazed and adorable like she always is when she first wakes up.

              It was too bad this was reality and that was a dream. I could dream all I want, but in the end, Rose still wasn't here.

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SAD CHAPTER AGH I HATED WRITING IT BECAUSE IT WAS SO BORING

anyway I PUT UP THE NIALL HORAN ROMANCE!

check it out?

BUT FIRST: comment and vote for this chapter? i love reading what you think will happen and stuff <3