Strings

Trying

STEF POV

"Baby why didn't you tell me you were having these kinds of issues. You know I would have helped." I said to Lena as we made a cup of coffee in the kitchen. She  just told me Monte was giving her hell about the divorce and had moved back in with her and Mariana. Of course my first instinct was to kill that woman but I knew that wouldn't go over very well. 

"I know but I can handle it sweetheart. You're main priority right now is Callie and you and I just got back together."

"I don't think we ever really broke up." I chuckled a bit taking a seat at the table with her

"True." She said smiling shyly.

"Lena talk to me baby. Please.  If you and Mariana aren't safe you know my door is open. And you know you  both can move in here. It's always open regardless baby."

"No, no. You and Callie need time alone. Absolutely not honey. I can find an apartment for me and Mariana. It's no big deal."

"It's a big deal to me Lena. You're my woman and you know I'll take care of you and Mariana."

"Stef, baby, I know and I never doubted it. Honest. But I will be ok and it's important to me that you and Callie have this time. You need it. You and I have had years and we will continue to. But she needs you right now and only you.  I can find an apartment and you can even help me look."

"I know she does Lena. I know and I am committed to her and our relationship. But what if you stay here until you find one? I don't like the idea of you having to be subjected to that woman."

"Stef, it will be ok. I promise. I can handle Monte. Believe me."

Letting out a sigh Lena could be just as stubborn as me as she looked to me and smiled. Gently she placed her hand on top of mine as I grabbed her hand and pulled her onto my lap.

"I just want you to be ok sweetheart. You mean to world to me."

"So do you baby." She said stroking my long blonde hair and pushing it behind my shoulders. "I missed you during the years we didn't talk or see each other Stef.  My life just wasn't the same."

"Neither was mine honey."

"I don't know what I was thinking marrying her. I guess I was upset at myself for messing up with you. For leaving you behind."

"Sweetheart we talked about this. Things happened and it was a crazy, crazy time. Life happened for both of us and we came out alright in end. Right?" I said gently stroking her face now as she smiled at me and picked up my badge from the table.

"This badge means so much to be Stef. It just, you wanted it so long and so badly just so you could give Callie the life you wanted her to have. Despite everything you got it and I'm so proud of you. I'm so glad you love being a cop and  that you were able to achieve it regardless. I really am Stef and it's so who you are. Back when you first told me about it when were only 20 I was nervous and worried but I knew you were tough. And I always hoped during the time we lost contact that you and become one. When I saw you at the club that night and then I saw you in your uniform that day it was like I was lost for words! I was just so happy." Glancing to her as she continued to hold and rub my badge in her hand I could feel tears form in my eyes.  It was true I had worked my hardest to get to where I was and I had done it for Callie, myself and Lena. "I'm just so happy that you had Captain Roberts to help you. She seems to be such an amazing person."

"She is Lena.  She's very different then Sharon was but she's amazing in her own way.  I don't know what I would have done without her."

"You would have gotten by. You would have done what you needed but her support made you stronger, made you happier and made you the person you wanted to be."

" Very true."

"I'm sorry it wasn't met that could have done that but everything happens for a reason right?"

"Yes but Lena you gave me other things. You showed me how to love, you also reminded me of what I wanted in life when things got hard and you never gave up on me either. Even when I gave up on myself. That I love you for so much baby."

"I love you to Stef."

Leaning in we softly kissed each other as my hand slid up her thigh and she pulled away a few moments later.

"So when do I get to meet Cap?"

"How about today?"

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CALLIE POV

Flashback

"Callie I know it's difficult but Stef loves you. She does." I heard April say as Stef left the kitchen thankfully to give me privacy. 

"Why can't I live with you. I don't like her she's the one who ruined my life."

"Callie I know you feel that way honey. I know and I know you want to live with me. But Stef has been looking for you for the past eight years. She never gave you up and you were taken from her wrongfully.

"But I don't care I miss you mom. I miss Mariana."

"I know sweetheart but as much as I love you I can't take you away from your mother. It would not be right and I am not able to care for you or Mariana. Sweetheart, I am sorry about everything but I know you have a deep heart. A good heart and one day you will see how much Stef loves you."

"I don't love her and never will. You just left me like everyone else." I said growing upset knowing I was wrong. I knew my foster mother wasn't able to care for me and I knew she didn't leave me. I was just upset about everything and missed her.

"No honey. I know no one ever explained what happened to me but I'm not well. I wish I was but I am not. But I need you to do something for me that will help me."

"What?"

"Be a good girl honey. Please."

"But I miss you."

"I know but remember what I taught you. Stef is not a bad person. She isn't and I know many people along the way have told you different. But she is not. Try honey even for a little bit to just listen to what she has to say."  Feeling stubborn about it I shook my head and the wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn't want to listen to her and it was going to be really hard to. 

"Callie. Please honey."

"Ok. I will try. But can I still call you mommy?"

"Yes you can still call me. But be respectful. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Now I have to go honey but call me in a couple of days. I love you very much."

"I love you too." I said now feeling like I was going to explode.

"Alright have a good day honey."

"You too mom."

"And Callie. Don't forget your music. You would be surprised what you picked up from Stef. Give her a chance."

"Ok."

"Alright bye honey."

"Bye."

As I hung up the phone I could hear Stef walk back into the kitchen. Quickly I put her phone down and  wiped my tears hoping she wouldn't see. The last thing I wanted was for her to see me cry and I definitely didn't want an single bit of sympathy from her. Never. 

As I threw my notebook in my backpack it was the 4th day I had been with Stef and each day was more annoying then the other. Everything April was telling me was leaving my head for I just could not find it in myself to talk to this so called mother of mine. I definitely didn't want to tell her I loved playing my guitar or anything I loved for that matter. Honestly I still didn't want to know anything about her  or her girlfriend Lena. But I had lied. I did remember that picture Lena gave me and I did remember that day and I did remember the both of them.  In fact that was what made it even more painful as each night more and more memories that I thought were dreams started to come back to me.