Strings

How Will Things Go?

LENA POV

It has been a week since Monte left and for the first time I felt a weight lifted off of me. There was no part of me that regretted making the choice I made and that I finally had the guts to do it. Not wanting to spread it around I neglected to call my parents or even Kelly for I needed it to sink in and really sink in. There was no doubt in my mind that we would file for divorce for there was really nothing left in our marriage to save. There never really was and my denial about it had been strong enough to keep us together for years. Despite everything the feeling was freeing to be honest but a tiny bit nerve-wracking since we both still worked together at Anchor Beach. I could only hope she would get the job at Jefferson for I knew there was a good chance she would now make my life a living hell.

FLASHBACK

"So that's it? You pick a troubled foster kid over me?" Monte yelled.

"It's more than that Monte. We haven't been happy for years you know that."

"Oh please. We have never been happy! What did you even marry me for Lena? Convenience or what? Or because you were scared to be alone? Is that why?"

"Of course not!" I yelled as she began to pack her duffel bag.

"Sure. You think I'm stupid? You're not leaving me because of Mariana. It's because of her!"

"Of who?"

"Oh come on!! Really? Are we really going to do this! I saw your phone! I saw your messages you two looking for that Cassie kid together. I knew you came back here to hook up with that junkie blonde!"

"First off her name is Callie not Cassie's and Stef is not a junkie! How dare you!"

"Oh how dare I!? How dare I? How dare you! You are so weak! You are so weak Lena and you have no backbone whatsoever! You should have just been honest with me from the beginning instead of trying to fake that you loved me. And I was stupid enough to believe you loved me!"

"How dare you sit up here and accuse me of not having a backbone! I did love you Monte! I did!"

"Yeah but not like you love her. Admit it!"

With tears forming in my eyes I looked to the ground not saying a word. For it was true and I just couldn't live that lie anymore or live in such denial. It was true. I never loved Monte in the way I should have. I never felt for her how I felt for Stef. Ever.

"Yea that's what I thought!" She yelled storming past me as I did nothing to stop her. "Ill be back to get the rest of my things!"

FLASHBACK ENDS

As Mariana and I sat on the bench waiting for Stef at the zoo she too seemed to loosen up a good amount since Monte left. Part of me couldn't help but notice how much more comfortable she was and even if she still had not said a word it said a good amount about my marriage and how it affected each of us. Maybe I had her to thank for giving me the courage to finally end my marriage for I cared more about her life and her safety then my own. Yes it had been foolish of me to foster a child while my marriage had been in such a bad place but we thought it would help it, that it would save it when in reality it did anything but that. It gave it the reality check that it needed and gave me one as well.

"So sweetie my friend is going to join is. Her name is Stef and she's very, very nice. Is that ok?" I asked applying a little sunscreen on her arms and face as she did nothing but stare at me. It wasn't that I expected her to answer but I never ignored her and tried to always include her in everything. "However, there is nothing to worry about I promise she is very nice."