Behind

Chapter 32

I leaned against the vending machine, chewing on my Reeses with a big, stupid grin on my face. I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize Nash walk in the hall until he had almost passed me.

"Hey," my voice cracked as I leaned off of the machine.

Nash stopped walking and looked over in my direction. His eyes darkened and he pressed his lips together. "Hi."

I stood there waiting for him to state some sort of apology, confession, anything. But nothing came out of his mouth for a few awkward, silent moments. 

"Did Kelly go this way?" He asked, pointing his thumb in the general area of the lobby.

I was sort of taken back by that question, but I smiled. "You can stop acting as if you like her, it's okay."

He narrowed his eyebrows. "Maybe I'm not acting."

I stared at his face for a few moments, hoping that he would crack. No part of his facial features showed that he was going to let down. All it did was lead me further and further into confusion. What was going on?

The smile quickly faded from my face. "Nash, I know you didn't kiss her."

He raised his eyebrows. "I did so."

My stomach dropped. Did Kelly lie to me?

"You did not." I fought.

"Tell that to the lipgloss of hers that I just tasted." He smirked.

Tears welled up in my eyes again but they quickly fell back into the depths of my eye sockets. "You're not fooling me."

"Believe what you want." He started walking away.

A part of me needed to get out, and it couldn't bare another second of this nonsense. 

"Why are you acting like this?" I shakily questioned.

Nash spun around and looked at me. "Acting like what?"

"Oh, don't give me that crap." I sneered, my voice increasing in volume. "You know exactly what I mean."

He walked closer. "Like what?" He repeated.

"Like- like-" I stuttered. "Like a total ass." 

He raised his eyebrows again; his common facial feature. "I'm an ass now?" He laughed. "Whatever." He started to walk away again.

My emotions inside of me stirred abruptly, forcing my foot to stomp hard on the floor. I grunted angrily. "If you're that mad about me not telling you something, you're such a child and you need to learn to act your age." 

Nash laughed to himself and turned back around. "If you think that's the reason I'm mad, you're obviously no smarter than me." He stood there staring at me.

I took a bite of my chocolate as I stared him in the eye. "Why don't you act like a big boy and just tell me." 

He quickly licked the edge of his mouth and sunk his top teeth into his bottom lip. He was withholding his words from me.

"Just go." I shook my head. I started walking back towards the gym, anywhere other than here. 

I grabbed the next few words from deep within the pits of my stomach and heart. "Please," I shook angrily and emotionally. "Just delete my number, don't talk to me, make someone else-" I stared at his face and felt the tears form a resevoir in my eyes again. "Make someone else fall for you." I spun quickly and made my way to the gym at a fast pace.

I put my hand on the handle of the gym doors and a hand gripped my shoulder and whipped me around harshly, forcing my back to slam against the glass door. 

Nash stood in front of me breathing heavily. "I just want you to trust me." 

I closed my eyes and tears fled from my eyelids to my cheeks and down around the curves of my nose. "How many times to I have to tell you this? I trust you! I trust you, I trust you, I trust you!" I tried squirming out of his hold but he held me up to the wall tightly. 

"Then why are you keeping something from me?" 

I grabbed at his arms awkwardly from the position my arms were being held. "Let me go."

"Not until you tell me what the fuck is going on with you!" His words sliced through my thoughts and feelings like a hot knife through butter. "I'm so open with you about everything and you still have the nerve to tell me that you trust me when you hold something that's taking a toll on your mind back." He took his left hand off of my right shoulder and rubbed his neck. Quickly he returned it, but this time to the door right next to my neck.

"Did I do something wrong?" He continued. "Did I say something that made you mad? I don't understand any of this at all, Teal. If it's- if it's Shawn you can tell me and I'll back off from you and-"

"Shut up about Shawn!" I raged. "Please just leave this alone."

A couple walked down the hallway hand in hand, turning around to look at the scene of two teens screaming at each other.

"What did Shawn do to you?" He asked protectively. "I swear if he hurt you in any way I'll-"

"Shawn is my brother, Nash. My brother." I wailed. A gasp escaped my throat as soon as the words accidentally shot from my mouth.

Nash's grip released my shoulders and I shoved past him, letting my tears engulf me. I ran away from Nash, leaving him standing there in awe, still facing the wall.

I ran to the door that led to the echoing and empty stairs of the hotel and sat down on the third step of the flight of stairs leading up to the second floor. I cupped my face into my hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

That was probably the stupidest thing I could have done. I didn't realize until this very moment how strong my emotions could be.