A Voyage Within Qalb

Chapter 16: Poetess, And Her Prayers

She had vowed to be all those things and more when he had arrived to ask for her hand in marriage. But now it scared her, she wondered how she'd be able to keep her promise. And still, it was strange how impatient she felt as the long night dragged on. She knew Noora wouldn't be happy to hear that she hadn't gotten a wink of beauty sleep. But she was worried out of her mind, even after knowing it for days that she'd be marrying him...

Was she doing the right thing?

Was this what was best for her? And would she make it? Would she reach Ahsan before death overtook her? Would she ever be able to tell him all the things she had ever thought about him? It was a different kind of heaviness to think that perhaps he might never know what her mind had spun for him.

Ahsan, her mind spoke. Even if we're only a few hours away from a forever we've prayed for, I miss you.

She wondered if he was fast asleep, perhaps with a content and happy heart, maybe after giving everyone his signature smile.

Aaaargh. That smile.

"Ya Allah, let me reach the dawn." She whispered, trying her hardest to count her blessings that shone like stars through the dark clouds of the night, yet waiting for the miracle to lighten her sky. She had fought her wars enough to know that ease was, as He promised, near. "Let me reach the happiness I have dreamt about, let me reach the dawn."

***

"Leila, can you remove her necklace?" Husna said, looking at the bride with a scrutinizing eye.

But Leila was lost in her thoughts, a sort of bitter feeling settling over her head as she remembered the white envelope on her desk.

"Leila?" Husna waved a hand before her.

"Oh sorry, what?" She blinked.

"You okay?" Kareema looked at her friend.

"Aah, I should be asking you that." Leila said, shaking off the things on her mind. "How are you feeling right now?"

"I don't know, it's a mess in my head." Kareema spoke, taking a deep breathe to calm herself as her friends laughed.

"No matter how messy it is inside your head, you're not looking messy outside." Husna declared. "Remove that necklace right now."

"No, I want to wear it for the nikah!" Kareema resisted.

"No way, it does not go with your dress." Husna said at once.

"She's right, where did you get this anyway?" Leila questioned, resting the flower pendent on her fingers.

"Ahsan--"

"Ohhhh!" Husna said, raising her eyebrows. "So that's what this is about!"

A light pink tinge appeared on Kareema's face as Leila shook her head with a smile. When they'd found out that Kareema had gone to sleep very late, she'd signed herself up for a lecture from Noora and Husna. But Leila felt like she'd do the same if she was in Kareema's place. How would she sleep knowing that the next day everything in her life would change? She'd given Kareema a hug instead, and talked her into wearing the wedding dress without tears.

"Ahem, so I want to keep wearing it." Kareema relayed.

"Nope, sorry." Husna said, taking it off. "You can wear it tonight if you want, with your nightgown." She grinned.

"Oh my God." Kareema squealed, turning even redder. "It is so hard to talk to people nowadays!"

"Hey, I'm just saying my sentences with no other meaning." Husna laughed, giving her a quick hug.