A Voyage Within Qalb

Chapter 16: Poetess, And Her Prayers

23rd June, 2020

Abdullah bin 'Amr narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said: "Allah decreed the measures fiffy-thousand years before He created the Heavens and the earth." Grade: Sahih 

Chapter 16:

Poetess, And Her Prayers

The entire Ramadhan had flown by in a blink of an eye. Kareema was still in denial that there would be no more taraweeh nights, nor suhoor, nor the blessed fard fasting for another eleven months. Eid was just as beautiful as it was every year, and before she knew it, the date of her wedding was knocking on her door. There were only a few hours left for the nikah, it was the darkest night she had ever seen. And she was somehow hyperventilating with random insecure thoughts clouding her happiness.

She could barely sleep, butterflies were dancing in her stomach throughout the ascent and descent of the moon. Whenever she felt like that, poetry and prayer were her go-to things. But even after she had completed tahajjud in the last third of the night, she couldn't concentrate on poetry. She sighed, waiting for Fajr and counting adhkar on her fingers. She smiled, reminiscing at the sudden changes she had witnessed in the blessed month.

After rushing Noora to the hospital almost a month ago, Diamond Masjid Group had announced that Ramadhan was set to commence that night onwards. It had rained beautifully, and Kareema had never seen a Ramadhan start so soothingly. Or perhaps she was a little excited as it would be her last 'Ramadhan of singlehood'. Noora and Brother Mustafa were blessed with a baby boy, whose aqeeqah was held soon after, naming him Ibrahim.

Kareema remembered catching a glimpse of Ahsan at the aqeeqah. She had gone up on the roof to check on the laundry, and it was when she was returning that she momentarily froze on the steps. He was talking to her father, carrying a smile that melted her heart. When he noticed her, he stopped talking abruptly before turning away. Kareema almost giggled, she found it so innocently cute.

Noora had recovered quickly, Brother Mustafa's care for her had only grown post-pregnancy. Kareema had captured many moments on her camera, and though she was beyond happy for the new parents, she wondered if she'd ever find that happiness with Ahsan. It scared her that she was already second guessing her promise to Ahsan, but it was also true that she had never imagined a childless life...

Ahsan had warned her so many times, and though she didn't regret choosing him, she made Du'a that He gives her the strength to continue. Somehow, she was so sure it would work out, even if Ahsan remained unconvinced. She admired his take on reality though, it kept her rooted and reassured. But, she wondered, what guarantee have I given you, Ahsan? She knew she was a dreamer before he pointed it out to her, but what good could that be in a world full of realities?

What good is hope, she was told by people, when in the end it breaks your heart? Medicine speaks facts, she knew that, but was it wrong to believe that the One who created those facts has the ability to bend them? And something told her it was just because of the thinking that he had chosen her too.

"Where did I manage to find a girl like you, Kareema?" Ahsan's voice echoed in her head.

And she sighed, before closing her eyes, his voice soothing her worries.

You need a dreamer, don't you? She asked him. Perhaps a mind to tear away the bitterness of realities, to fill you with hope, to let you fly freely? Maybe a soul to stand with yours when you let go of the steering, so He can show you how well you're taken care of? A hand to steady the strokes of paint on your canvas? And a few words, ones you can call home and on which you can fall back at the end of the day?