The faint relaxing smile as I fell from the window sill and the smoke rushed in the room and the sound of wood crashing and ash igniting was all solemnly remembered as I shot awake. Shaking, reliving the scene that never failed to let me remember. That's the partial comeback of being sober and being awake.
Heavy breaths and my eyes half-lidded as I tried to compensate my surroundings. I felt my cheeks that stained of tears and heated from my dream. I stretched a bit and got up. Looking over at the other side of the bed, Toby was no where to be found. Scanning the room, his stuff wasn't there. It was as if he completely disappeared. Again.
Groaning, I tried to make the dream dissipate to nothing. Of course, nightmares wouldn't go away so easily. Frowning, I wish it was just a nightmare.
I peeked through the curtain and it was still night. Around three, maybe four? Bing.... My phone went off in a beeping pattern as it sounded from my jacket-pillow. Unveiling it, It was a call. My mom was calling me. A look of disgust came over me as I stared at her number, but it was rude and I would get called out for it if it I just dismissed it.
"Hey, Mom."
"Hey, I'm sorry about...," She seemed to have sniffled. "What happened."
"About Amy?" Shuddering as I kept seeing an image of Amy in a ditch. Bloody and gutted. I still don't know how that image felt so familiar. So clear to me.
"Who?" I felt a bit alarmed and confused now.
"Amy, my... Friend?"
"Oh, I didn't know about that."
"Who... Who are you talking about?" I felt a weight settle on my chest.
"Oh... Oh my God. You don't know. I'm so sorry, sweetie." I began to bite my lip in anticipation. "Are you away from home or something?"
"Y-yeah?" My voice cracked.
"My sister-in-law had a heart attack. Your aunt."
"What!? Is she in the hospital or something?"
"I'm so sor-."
"Mom, you haven't called me in two... Three months? And when you finally think, 'Oh, you know, maybe I should check on my only child' It's this!?" My voice shortened into a rasp as I felt like puking from the tears bearing to choke at my throat.
"Hun, It's all alr-!" I cut her off, It was my time to speak.
"Are you even going to fly over here? I'm just getting this news.... Fuck!"
"I can't fly over, I have a busi-!"
"Like you did with Dad! You fucking didn't show up to his funeral! I bet if I drunk myself to death, would you even come?" I took a long, heavy sigh as tears made way down my already red face. "You're selfish. So selfish."
"It's not like that!" She snapped.
I forced a smile as I shook my head. A smile of pure anger. I dismissed the phone call, dropped the phone and stood there. It was ten minutes as I finally started to phase out from the voices in my head, battling and arguing. I was felt so... sullen.
It wasn't an half-hour later before I checked out and awaited a neighborhood taxi. I'm free from it. From his deal. The taxi came earlier than I expecting as I swung open the door to the back seat and greeted the driver with a painted smile and worn eyes. I closed it and got comfortable against the seat. I told the driver my destinations and she smiled in response and made a U-turn to get on with it. As it was driving away, I saw Toby. He stared, dumbfounded at my decision and began to try to make a run for the taxi. It was too far and he was too slow.
We were far gone from him. I felt bad for him, leaving him there without any excuse. But hey, why do I need an excuse!?
I can go where I want.
I rested back and smiled. I can go in hiding. He can't find me. He can't hurt the ones I love.
"I'm sorry, you can't be in there," The nurse gave me a sympathetic smile as I bit my lip as I stared at the wooden door with a small window that had a curtain cover it.
"Did she go happy?" I asked, my eyes deadpanned at the door.
"I bet she did," the nurse told me. "She probably lived a long, beautiful life," the said as she stared at me with a look of sympathy. Then asked, "Are you her daughter?"
I choked a small laugh that was bluntly forced, I shook my head. "No, but she would of been a better mom."
"I believe there is other family members in the lounge if you wish to see them," she told where the lounge was and I began to walk there. Each step feeling heavier, then feel light, but brought down by a presence of some kind.
"(Y/n)!" I heard a familiar, high voice greet. I looked to my side to see a woman. "Oh, hey, Bettie," I was impacted by a sharp, fragile hug by Bettie. She was a good friend of my aunt.
She mourned and told me how she felt. A curious, but slightly disturbed look covered her as she noticed something about me. Usually, people would like to keep opinions to themselves at times like this, but Bettie didn't care two shits if it bothered someone.
"You seem so... Lifeless. You look terrible," Thanks for the support, Bettie," And with all this going on, you haven't shown any signs that you care. Not really responding, haven't cried or showed any signs, and... You seem to be smiling?"
"Bettie, keep your fucking mouth closed," I whispered, my demeanor a whole new change to a much darker, controlling side. Bettie eyebrows arched as she took offense.
I couldn't control it, I kept a small smile on my face.
"Are you enjoying this? Didn't you just lose that poor girl?"
I chuckled softly and sharply turned my head to her pale eyes, "Bettie, you old brute, you mention Amy to me," My voice was just a rasp and whisper. "I will fucking force a knife down your throat and make you sing me the damn alphabet as I replace your organs with fucking rocks." It was a bit much, but a also a perfect much.
She stared me down as I was just an inch taller than her, "Are you threatening me?"
I chuckled and acted like we were sharing a secret in case of any suspicious bystanders. I leaned in her ear, "You betcha."
;)
YOU ARE READING
Under Control (Ticci Toby X Reader)
Fanfiction(May contain sensitive topics) Things never went as plan as (Y/n) hoped. Her family had dissipated, leaving her with her solemn aunt. There, she was alone and liked it that way. When she had developed bad habits of drinking, she was falling into her...
