Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

Hired Help (Deadpool x reader)

"Wow, okay, that's creepy uncanny," he sighed, leaning back into his chair, "I called that one. You guys have to meet each other." Weasel stood and gathered up the papers and haphazardly shoved them into his bag, pausing when you stood in kind. "Okay, just be at the designated meeting spot to go over the details and you're good to go. He might even let you watch, if you want. If you're into that sort of thing."

"I'm not."

"Hey, play it your way, sweetheart." He offered one last hand shake before turning away, looking around as if he was making sure that you weren't being followed or watched. "Oh, and you can be late, by the way. He usually is. If you set the expectations too high, you're just gonna be in for a huge disappointment. We're already setting you up to aim low. Strive for mediocrity, we always say."

"What the hell did I just get myself into?"

"A binding contract. And quite possibly a meet-and-greet with your soul mate. Unless, of course, I'm wrong about that. Except that I'm not," he stated plainly, watching for your reaction, but you gave him none. With a nod of confidence, he finally began to walk away; it took only seconds for him to stop and turn back, his mind racing with what he wanted to say and barely the guts it took to spit the words out. "Okay, but just in case, I gotta say...you're fucking hot. If you don't hit it...or even if you hit and quit with Pool, what kind of shot do I have?"

"Well, I suppose a really good one."

"Really?"

You took the few steps to close the space between you, taking purposeful and slow movements as he watched, and you could see the heat and redness growing over his features; his hand came up to pull against his shirt collar, and his breaths began to quicken from the proximity. When you brought your hand up to run your finger along his jawline, your skin barely touching his, you thought the poor guy might stop breathing all together.

"Yeah, I'm sure you two would be very happy together. Don't let me stand in your way."

"No," he groaned, hanging his head shamefully and fully defeated, "I meant with you...right, you knew that...got it. You could have just said none!" he called out after you just as the door slammed shut after passing through it. "I guess that's one way to find out if Little Cap has a little shield or not."

~~~

Whoever this jerk was, he sure was late all right, just as his counterpart had said he would be. He was almost two hours late now, and you were more than ready to leave and move on to plan B, because this Deadpool guy was losing his shot at your money with each passing tick of the clock. Maybe if he hadn't chosen the alleyway behind the most ridiculous building in New York, the Avengers tower of all places, you wouldn't feel so apprehensive to stay a little longer, but you felt like they were watching you, even though the building was strangely dark.

"Alright, I'm done," you whispered to yourself, standing up from the cold and wet asphalt with a groan and a stretch of your arms high over your head to release the tension from immobility. "Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'll just do it myself."

"Psst."

"Oh, sweet Jesus," you hissed, closing your eyes in regret that you had waited too long. "Where the hell are you?"

"Look up," Deadpool whispered. When you relented and tilted your head up, you could barely make out his shadow, and a hand shot out in front of him to make the hazy shape of a frantic wave. "Dude, come here."

"Dude?"

"Ma'am?"

"No."

"Miss?"