A Voyage Within Qalb

Chapter 09: Rewards of the Patient

I don't think I'm going to ever get used to this. She giggled in her mind.

"How fine is fine?" He prompted gently.

"I wasn't that good until recently." Kareema answered truthfully. "There were days I thought would never end, there were times I couldn't speak because I was too close to crying. I was worried to such a degree, it scared me. But I've been at a little more ease after you decided to talk."

"I'm sorry." Ahsan responded, guilt evident on his face. "It must've been hard for you. That's why I'm here again, I don't want you suffering any more because of me."

"What does that mean, Ahsan?" She asked, unable to decipher his words.

"I have come here to tell you something very important, Kareema." He spoke. "You have to understand that this might not work out after I tell you my reasons. After you understand why I didn't contact you for so long, you might not want to continue this."

She was reminded of her mother's words, but she let him talk. Somehow, it seemed to her that everyone was trying to tell her that it wouldn't work, even Ahsan. No matter what, she had not gone through all that pain for nothing, she wasn't one to give up that easily. She looked at him for explanation in silence, and Ahsan sighed.

"You remember that I told you about my disease?" Ahsan asked.

"Yes, I remember." Kareema nodded, wondering if that was all.

"I had to get some tests done after I sent you this proposal." He spoke, his eyes on the pretty pot that carried the mint plant. "The results came back a few weeks ago, and... I was so shocked that..." He looked back at Kareema, who was listening intently. "To be honest, it took a few days for me to get used to it. I have a conception rate of less than seven percent." He confessed.

Silence followed his words.

She was almost sure she'd heard him wrong.

It couldn't be that the dream she had dreamt from the start was shattering in front of her.

"I'm sorry, for not telling you earlier... For not realizing that you needed to know this as much as I did... For everything I've put you through." Ahsan continued, his heart filling with dread as each second passed.

Oh Ahsan, you've suffered just as much. She wanted to say. You've been scarred more than I can bear.

"You don't have to give me an answer right now." He told her, though his heart and mind begged her to release her thoughts. "You can take your time. I understand if you want to let your parents know about this. I get it that they have a say in it too. It is hard to admit, but I have to say this for you... Sometimes, even after you do a background check, there are things you can't find out about a person. This is one of those things, but I want to be sincere with you, Kareema. I don't want anything to come between us if we do get married. But if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her to marry someone like me."

"Ahsan, there is something I want you to know."

Kareema's voice filled the air after what seemed like an eternity.

"What is that?" He asked, glad that she was finally speaking.

"I have always tried doing everything for the sake of Allah." She said, catching his attention, for he hadn't expected her to still keep talking to him. "I can't remember being happier when you sent this proposal, because all that I've heard about you reminded me of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him."

"Peace be upon him." Ahsan repeated, fireworks going off in his heart.

"For a second, when you confessed about this, I asked myself that if I accept this proposal now, would it be for the sake of Allah?" She related. "Or would it be because... I have to come to like you?"