Serilda

Chapter 1

Aaron Reid, the handsome, the dashing, one with the smile that made your heart flutter and one who wouldn't care to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't even look at me anymore si I had to remember from him a far. Ever since I had bound myself to this house, I had seen his friendship, anger, hatred, pity, worry, sympathy, sadness, frustration, and then again hatred or just plain dislike, all in the same order as I speak. He was the one whom who had been there for me. In reality he wasn't supposed to be there when I needed him, to come to help when I called but he did. I thought I would have found someone to share my thoughts and loneliness with but it was wrong to think. All because of my morals who no one cared about but me. He had called me a coward which I have proven to be. What he wanted me to do went against the beliefs I was raised with. I wanted to laugh at the beliefs I was raised with because they have gotten my no where but in hell. Boundaries would have crossed with no point of return. I would have become a sinner, but that wasn't what mattered. It was the fact that I would have gotten used to it and lived with the misery while drowning him with in it. My life didn't matter to me but his did to me. It was for better we stopped talking.

I still remember those words.

"You know what Serilda, you are yourself to be blamed for the position you are in. It isn't anyone's fault but yours!'' He enraged his eyes burning with fury.

"I gave you my pity and sympathy but you are not damn worth it. You think that what you are doing will save you, change your life, God will reward you for it, you will have your happiness. You are so damn wrong. God doesn't help cowards and courage less people like you. There is no fucking backbone in you. This pit of misery in which you cry in, you yourself dig it up. It's your choice to stay in there and you always will!" His words were nothing but pure anger.

"What you are suggesting to do goes against my own rules and morals Aaron. It isn't a choice you ask, it is degrading myself to a level that they have gone down too. You already know how everyone thinks of me and I can't have seen me looking at with more hatred and loathing. So stop with this madness." Was this what this had come to?

"Do you think anyone would damn care? No one fucking cares about you Serilda when would you understand that. No one fucking calls you not even your parents. People already talk rubbish about you, they wouldn't fucking care what you do not after how she humiliated you that night coming with in the party." The sharp words hit me so hard that I felt my soul tearing apart. The heart already broken and battered from the downfalls life has given me. There wasn't anything left in it to break, no pain that I could suffer. With his support, I thought I could find the broken pieces of my heart and glue them back but no he was tearing the last thing I had, my soul.

"I won't do it, Aaron, I will not let myself down to that level. It won't make me happy or effect anyone but it would break me! I won't be able to see myself in the mirror and it only proves what they say about me true." I cried out. Aaron laughed at this, looking at me in anger. Those eyes where I find sympathy and pity and once love for me were fuming at me. He was hurting me and I wanted him to stop.

"You are not worth my worry and my words. All you are thinking about is this fucking society and your self-respect. For the outer world, which you don't have any. We both know what happens outside this house but you just want to close your eyes and live in this glass house drowning yourself in misery. You will never grow a backbone Serilda. You will always be the last resort, not the first-ever. I showed you the way to becoming first but you don't want it. It is because of your own self you have turned into nothing. I just can't spend my energy on you anymore. They have already broken all boundaries and vows there isn't anything holdin' you back so tell me would you come or this is goodbye." The bitter truth was killing me, his words were eating me from inside slashing my soul. He was my last hope, but I was losing him. If I did what he wanted, then I would lose myself. It was the battle between hope and my morals.Morals who no one cared about me.