It's a mad mad world

Chapter 13

Everybody looked at Hiccup incredulously. "Your rug Hiccup? Seriously?" Astrid asked as she gestured wildly.

"Hey, it's a very nice rug and I found it on sale." Hiccup grumbled. "Now all of you take a seat or do you not want to find out what information Fishlegs brought."

None could argue with that logic as the heroes and villains sat tensely opposite to each other. "It's times like these that I'm thankful that I'm only an analyst." Fishlegs mumbled as he took out all of the files.

"Ruffnut! Ruffnut!!" Snotlout shouted as he tried to hand her one of the files but he saw that Ruffnut was intently staring at the villains, mainly the big muscled one.

"Why hello there handsome." She purred and winked suggestively at Eret.

"EEK" Eret shouted and used Dagur as a shield. He already had a bad feeling.

"Sis, seriously?!" Tuffnut asked as he grabbed Ruffnut by her shirt collar so that she didn't jump over the coffee table. Ruffnut pouted but grabbed a file to start reading while making googoo eyes at Eret.

They all began reading through the files and it was Astrid who remarked. "These files are older than us. It looked like Project D was initiated 11 years before any of us were born."

"What's this project D anyways?" Ruffnut asked as she frowned at one of the files. "They are going on about human enhancement."

"Not really sure what it stands for but it is highly likely that you lot got your powers from it." Eret explained.

"No way, there is just no way." Snotlout grumbled. "We've had these powers since.... Well since...." Snotlout frowned as he couldn't remember.

"You know I don't think we ever questioned where our powers came from." Fishlegs mumbled.

"And you don't find that strange?" Heather asked as she slid next to Fishlegs, who blushed a bit. "You're kind of cute." She then whispered to him.

"Well.... Now that you mention it." Fishlegs squirmed as Heather leaned in closer.

"It looks like the project was stopped for a while." Tuffnut said as he grabbed the file from his sister.

"Why?" Hiccup asked.

"It says here that they didn't recommend going forward with human trials." Tuffnut read. "Something about the DNA not bonding properly. It was your dad who shut down the project."

"I think we might need to ask him for more details." Hiccup grumbled. "But getting to speak to him will be a headache."

"It's not like we could kidnap him from HQ." Fishlegs said out loud.

"Oh but we can." The twins said in sync and grinned. "All we'll need is a distraction."

"I'm beginning to like you two." Astrid stated as she grinned. "I might just have an idea for a distraction. Let's get going then."

"Sir yes sir!" The twins saluted before following Astrid out of the house. Hiccup could hear tires squealing and the twins' whoops.

Hiccup went on to prepare some lunch as Snotlout and the villains continued bickering, with poor Fishlegs trying to keep the peace.

"Hiccup!" Fishlegs suddenly shouted as he noticed that Snotlout and Dagur were just about to go head to head.

"Toothless!" Hiccup called and Toothless happily bounded forward landing on Snotlout.

"Get this dragon off of me!" Snotlout gasped.

"Then behave Snotlout." Hiccup said. "Look at Fishlegs. He seems to be getting along fine with Heather."

Fishlegs had indeed been getting along fine with Heather. She was teasing him and making him blush so much that Hiccup thought he resembled a tomato by now. Snotlout grumbled but eventually Toothless got off of him.

Hiccup had just finished some finger sandwiches when he heard a car door slam in the driveway followed by whoops of glee.

"Coming through!" was shouted as Astrid and the twins came into the house while dragging an unconscious, bound in duct tape, Stoick with them. Upon Stoick sat a chicken picking at his beard.

"How did you get him up the stairs?" Hiccup asked curiously as they moved Stoick to a chair. "And is that cotton candy in his beard?"

"Your girlfriend was masterful Hiccup!" Tuffnut exclaimed as he picked up the chicken and stroked it.

"Hiccup" Fishlegs mumbled catching his attention. "So she's your girlfriend?." was asked to which Hiccup nodded.

"She's a bit crazy." Fishlegs whispered to Hiccup who merely chuckled.

"What! I can't believe it! How could you get a girlfriend before me?!!" Snotlout wailed as his cat ears twitched.

"Cheer up Snot." Tuffnut said as he patted him on the back. "At least with those cat ears you'll have a better shot at the ladies."

"True. They are kind of cute." Ruffnut agreed.

"But... but... I don't want to be cute!!" Snotlout shouted in resignation. "I want handsome!!"

"No one can work that miracle." Dagur grumbled. "No one."

"Well explain my cousin then!!" Snotlout shouted as he wildly gestured to Hiccup "One moment he has this goofy head of hair and the next he's the crush of every girl in the office."

"Why thank you." Dagur said as he puffed out his chest proudly. "I see that my skills are just as sharp as ever."

"It can't be that bad." Hiccup mumbled but the others still heard him.

"Oh yes it is!" Snotlout defends. "Your father's secretary even called you 'Hotcup'!!" Snotlout used air quotes to make his point.

Hiccup looked beyond mortified as he banged his head on the armrest while Astrid just patted his back. Ruffnut chose then to punch Snotlout in the arm.

"Hey what was that for?!" Snotlout asked as he rubbed the sore spot.

"Every girl Snotlout?" Ruffnut asked dangerously. "I haven't been crushing on Hiccup."

"Thank Thor for that." Tuffnut mumbled and Astrid silently agreed.

"Well... eh....I don't really see you as a girl." Snotlout admitted hesitantly as he saw Ruffnut glare at him. "You've always been one of the guys."

"One of the guys!" Ruffnut roared. "One of the guys! I'lls show you one of the guys!" She shouted before grabbing Snotlout by the shoulders and kissing him hard on the lips. Snotlout's eyes widened comically as Ruffnut pushed him onto the couch without breaking the kiss.

Snotlout gasped for air once Ruffnut, who looked smug, broke the kiss.

"I have to admit. I didn't see that coming." Hiccup said shocked as he reached into the wine cabinet near the couch and pulled out a wine glass as well as a bottle of red wine. He proceeded to pour himself a glass only to have Snotlout snatch it and gulp down the contents.

"Don't give me that look." Snotlout mumbled. "I needed that more than you."

"Should I be offended?" Ruffnut huffed before a wicked smile appeared on her face. "Or should I be flattered that my kissing skills are so incredible that it left you dazed?"

"Eh" Snotlout said but was saved from answering when Hiccup's father began to stir.