My Mind Known As My Asylum

Bye.

I'm no where as down as I was a year ago, or 2 years ago. I been almost a year clean. My thighs are still covered in white scars, but they always will. I have bad days, everyone does, but they are rare as my good days were.

I'm closer with my friends now. I'm also 16 years old. I can now practice driving. I'm in the 11th grade still not doing well in school but I'm going.

I never did get help after. I did this all alone.

I used to have a twitter where I go and rant about my problems, kinda what I did here, but more specific. One of my friends found it, and knew it was me. I haven't used the account in some time, but she never bothered to look at the dates when she told her mother all about it. Her mom emailed mine and my mom read me the email. Not once did she ask me anything about it, or even if I was okay. She said that she was going to call the guidance counselor at my high school on me, my mom asked me I told her no. My mom was more pissed. She had to snoop around on my twitter to find it. All good now, but my parents now hate hers even more.

I never even been to a doctor about it before. I did ask in the past about it, but was shit down by my mother than in wasn't necessary.

I still spend a lot of time in my room but I enjoy it. I wouldn't say I'm extremely happy. I don't know if that day may come for any time soon. I still had some suicidal thoughts, but all were washed away when a 18 year old girl in my town killed herself.

I never spoken to the girl before. I did have a class with her last year but that was it. Yet when I seen the news on Facebook I was devastated. She had lots of friends and a loving family. I couldn't understand why. I'm made me realize how precious life is, and all I can imagine is how I want to take mine away at 14.

I'm not just magically cured I'm still really fucked up. But I'm not cutting myself or wanting to take away my life anymore.

Remember I'm always her to talk, and about anything. You never know what the future will hold for you. There is always a different option.

This is goodbye. My name is Kristin, and I still and always will hate my life, but will never take it away. And I still love 5 seconds of summer. (That will never change) They helped me turn my life around.