My Mind Known As My Asylum

At night

I love the night.

But the night is when all my faults and things I hate play threw my mind on repeat!

They remind me how worthless I am and much I really want to die.

Times when I did something I wish I never did plays through my mind.

I'm a fuck up.

I mess everything up.

I ruin everything.

I make things worse.

Over and over they play.

I cry so hard and want to scream and die so badly, but I can't not yet.

I never have these thoughts in the day, why at night?

I find the thoughts in the day are all false things I come up with to make things, better.

The thoughts at night at loud and there right in front as the others in day seem distant.

I'm a different person in night and in day.

I feel more me in night. But I don't know who the real me is.

I like the night better but it's brings out the worse in me.

Maybe that's why I like it, to show how worthless I really am.

I know I'm worthless.

Maybe, just maybe, that's why.

But who knows, maybe it's not too.