Chapter 2

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"Timothy, really can you just talk to me. Please?" Colette has been bothering me for two days now. Constantly asking if I'm okay, saying that I'm not acting like myself.

Except I couldn't deny it.

Ever since Elijah looked at me, I was memorized, in a trance.

"I'm fine. Colette, do you really think anything's ever not wrong with me?" I sighed.

"Letty. And you know I hate it when you act like you're the strangest human in the world. There's nothing wrong with you. You just aren't acting how you normally do."

We were in my room. She had came barging in here as soon as we finished our dinner, she had been talking to me while I was spacing out. This had only been one small thing I've got caught doing by Letty. She still had her street clothes on, when she usually came home she changed into PJ shorts and a large T-shirt. She has more black jeans than I could ever count. I don't know when she started dressing like she did, all black colored clothing and no makeup, but it fit her. Her long black hair and green eyes fit her. We have the same dark shade of black hair, for her eyes are green like my father's, and I have our mother's deep blue eyes. And where Letty always wore black, I wore large sweaters that I feel is my security blanket, and skinny jeans. We wouldn't thought to be twins, but we are.

I sighed. What do I say to that? I fumbled with a loose string on my sweater sleeve not daring to look up at her. "Okay." What else can I say? I like this boy named Elijah and I don't know what to do because I think I'm gay. You think I'd be able to tell my best friend that.

"You're really not going to put any effort into talking to me, Timothy? Fine. Just know I tried to help you." At that, she stormed out. Not bothering to shut my bedroom door.

I've never been outgoing like Letty. I was always the little boy who sat on the couch with his nose stuck in a book. Escaping the world that way.

That's how I always have been and will be. Escaping is how I make it through my life.

*****

I always want to look at him but I can't. After his realization of my looking at him, my whole body felt like it was drowning. Even when he spoke I don't look. And it's upsetting because I got by by sneaking glances at him when he wasn't looking.

What made me tense up was when my head was propped up on my books and my hands were also supporting them, my eyes focused on the ground, I could feel someone's eyes on me.

The question was, whose?

"...And that is due on Monday. All right?" The bell rang dismissing us as soon as Mrs. Thomson finished, as if on cue.

I am quick to put my books in my bag, aside from the one I was reading, It was a random pick up at the bookstore, I had gotten other books as well and I liked the cover so I quickly picked it up. I don't have much of an opinion of it yet.

I put my backpack on and found a song to play while opening my book up to the page I was on. I scanned my finger to the line and started to walk in the direction of the corner Letty and I meet each other. Walking through the hall made me uneasy, the people around made me-

I felt someone tap my shoulder. I swore I imagined it. I looked up from my book to my left side.

My eyes went wide.

This has got to be a joke. I slowly closed my book and took my earbuds out, not daring to meet his eyes with mine.

Elijah.

Then I squeezed my hands tight and looked up, he smiled wide. His smile. It was so jovial and luminous. His eyes just how I described them to be. Brown, gold, and red. His eyes showed his smile was anything but fake.

He laughed, it was a small laugh, but it did him so much justice, "Sorry, did I scare you?"

I shook my head. What do I say to him? Oh hey, Elijah. You didn't scare me, I just have a massive crush on you and can't speak in your general presence.

"You're name is Timothy, is it not?" Two clusters of his hair hung down apart from the rest, it seemed they were almost in the way of his vision, but they had just barely scraped the top of his long eyelashes that shadowed his cheekbones.

I felt my face get hot. This beautiful boy is not speaking to me right now.

"I.." I had to calm down. I breathed in and found words. "Yes. You're Elijah?"

"I actually just go by Eli." He smiled a closed mouth smile now. Maybe he supposed he looked too happy before.

"Did you...need something?" I want to talk to him, but how do I?

"Now that I think about it, maybe I shouldn't have tried asking you this question. I guess it was just an act made without thinking. But.." He looked like he was then taking in the little things about me as I did before. What would he inspect, my blue eyes? Dark messy hair? Glasses too big? Three freckles, one on my left cheek, two on my right?

"You seem to take a fascination with me." I froze.

I started a few sentences but didn't finish them, all that came out was splutters.

"I'm not accusing you of anything. I just wondered, why? I've just noticed it. You never look at anyone. Just me." This is what I knew would happen if we ever spoke.

"I..I don't know what you're talking about?" I tried. How do I avoid this? What can I make up? I've never even spoken to this boy before, yet I obsessed over him, and he's more than likely straight.

"Nevermind, okay? I shouldn't have said anything." He wasn't smiling anymore, in fact he looked embarrassed. "I'll just go, sorry to bother you."

He took his headphones out of the pocket of his grey hoodie. I found something to stop him from leaving. "What were you listening to?" Elijah, Eli, stopped the turning of his body to walk off.

He smirked up at me, "I don't think you'd like this music."

"Never know." I said quietly.

He handed me an earbud, I reluctantly grabbed it from him and stepped closer to him cautiously.

Each step I left behind
Each road you know is mine
Walking on the line ten stories high Say you'll still be by my side

If I could take your hand
If you could understand
That I can barely breath the air is thin

I took out the earbud and handed it back to him. I felt a spark when his hand brushed against mine to retrieve it.

"I listen to that kind of music. It helps to read." I spoke, softly. My voice sounded calm while inside I was screaming of not knowing what to do.

"I think it's true music, nothing but the truth." I nodded. He couldn't have been any more right. "I'll see you later, Timothy."

"I find you interesting." I quickly rushed out, he needs to stay. I need to talk to him, I need to see his eyes.

"I'm sorry?" He chuckled.

"My fascination with you. In my defense, I know it seems I only look at you. I just find some people more interesting than others. I'm sorry if me watching you is strange. I like to see the inner beauty and more in depth of people, and you.." I didn't look at him, I just, fumbled with the sleeves of my sweater.

"I find it endearing." I looked up, he reached his hand up to move the brown pieces of hair out of his eyes, they finally inched their way into his view.

"I-I h-have to go meet my s-sister." I stuttered, turning to walk away.

"Bye Timothy."  I was already walking off.

I needed to catch my breath again.

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