Chapter 6

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"I have a question." I announce, before I could begin to think it over. I needed to ask him, or this may have all been for nothing.

We were in Eli's car, it was almost 8 and he needed to take me home before Letty would be more suspicious then she already would be. Not much has happened after we parted in his basement, before our second kiss. Low had came downstairs and wanted to hang out with her big brother, "Eli you promised me yesterday you would!" Her voice was pleading, having decided he'd rather ignore the fact she almost caught us, he said yes. We were like that for a while, then Eli's beautiful mom, AnneMarie Cartwright, with deep brown eyes and brown hair, told us to come upstairs.

"Hello, I'm AnneMarie. Eli's mother. Who are you?" She had asked me, she was very sweet, her voice was soft. Seeing how amazing this woman was, I remembered Eli telling me about his namesake, and I sympathized. Why do the people least deserving of it, get hurt the most?

"Timothy Casper." We had gotten along well after that, she asked me my interests and completely ignored asking the question most parents would think to ask, how do you know my son? And, god I was thankful for that. I still couldn't help but get jittery around all the people in the house, Lia, Eli, and their mother. Even if I seemed content. It was just that voice in the back of my head, whispering, and it made my body react in abnormal ways, it's just people.

"What's that?" Eli mumbled, he hadn't talked much directly to me since our last conversation. I ignored it, it was how most people were around me, why would it begin to bother me now? But it's Elijah.

"I..uh.," I didn't know how to state the question, or begin to imagine what his response would be, and I didn't realize how sweaty my hands and forehead had become. This day may have been the day I've ever had the most human interaction and I suddenly became very aware of that thought. I closed my mouth shut, and didn't open it again.

"Yes?" Eli said, I couldn't quite see him, it was almost dark after all, and it was quite disappointing I couldn't see such loveliness.

I kept my mouth shut. I've wanted to ask him this question since I parted with him on the couch, even the first time after. But I hadn't realized how his answer would impact me, and how I could go on from there. It was a rather tough question, and to go about answering when he asks me, which he will, I might as well just stay silent, because I myself couldn't make up words to match my unspoken thoughts left unsaid aloud.

"I," I gulped. I couldn't do it. I can't do it, I'm trying, but I simply can't. I just know how this will go, and end. "Nevermind." I whispered, looking out the window of his car. I stared at the moonlight bouncing off the mountains and thought of my first memory I ever had of the mountains. Letty and I had just started preschool, we were outside running along the Colorado river, and I looked above to see mountains, and began to realize just how small I was, and how big the world can be. How I'm just one particle of the Earth's existence, and there's bigger things even besides myself. How I may only get to see the world through my point of view, but others have seen it through theirs as well. And they're all different.

"Timothy?" Eli snapped me out of the memory I was in, but I was still looking at the full moon rising high in the night sky, and how beautiful the sight of it can be, how it can just change your whole mood, knowing it's there to assure you, that you'll make it. I've always thought of the moon that way, it's significance may be hard to understand, but I always thought of it as something to look up to in time of need. To remember there's other things out there. That you'll be okay and you have someone watching over you to be sure.

"I said nevermind." I said, softly. The moon may have my back, but it's not the time. I can't ask him, for I'm afraid of his answer and my own when the question is turned back on me.

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