Try To Keep The Pace

Family Conversation

"There you are!" came the reeeeaally welcoming sentence from my beloved Madison. She was still in her work clothes, her hair was in a messy ponytail and there was an empty mug in her hand, what apparently had coffee in it. Her expression was both relieved and angry at the same time and I found that completely normal. I mean, I just disappeared all of sudden, like I did before. However she still looked pretty terrifying. Maybe if I manage to shut the door on her face I can get to Shannon's house without her finding out in what direction I ran away. Don't be dumb! Just go and hug her already! I gulped and listened to the annoying voice in my head for once. This isn't the first time and you know it. Shush!

"What were you thinking?! Why didn't you answer your phone?! Where were you?! Did something happen to you? Are you okay?!! Did you get in trouble?! Wh-" Madison was shifting from an angry mom to a concerned mom. Either way, it made me tear up that she actually cared about me so much. I walked over to her and cut her off by wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tight. Madison froze for a second, then put her mug down to a higher step of the chair and hold me the way she did when I was little. When I cried for the smallest stupidest reasons or when I felt alone after mom died. For a moment I felt like a kid again.

 I know that I have people to count on. I know that they love me and that they worry about my state. Yet I never share a thing with them. Is it because I don't want to be a burden for them? Is it because I don't want to waste their time? Or is it because I just can't realize this? All I want right now to be a kid again. To be that little three years old girl, with squeaky slippers and Mickey Mouse backpack, when I was still happy. When I still had my family together. When my mothers were happy together and alive, when my dad wasn't so nonexistent as he is now, when my brother punched people in the face for me. I miss the old days when the dining table was full with people. When the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were full of life. When it all felt like home.

"Mady, is it her?" I hear multiple footsteps coming from the living room. I looked up and saw auntie, uncle Felix and Robert and two women, one in her late 30's and another one in her 20's. I recognized one of them as Uncle Robert's wife, however that was the first time that I had seen the other one. When Auntie saw us, she came and embraced us without thinking. Soon both Uncle Robert and Felix joined us. Uncle Robert's wife smiled at us, then two little heads popped up from the living room, but she told them to go back. The other woman crossed her arms in front of her, she actually noticed me looking at her and mouthed the words "Welcome home".

And she was right. I finally felt at home again.

We stood there, they holding me, me bawling my eyes out.

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 After a good 15 minutes of crying we all settled in the living room. I was sitting on one of the two big black armchairs, with Laura and Jack sitting on the armrests. Laura is Uncle Robert's daughter and Jack is Liz's nephew or something like that. Uncle Robert, Mary, his wife, Uncle Felix and Madison were sitting on the sofa while Auntie Alex was sitting on the other armchair with Liz, the stranger woman sitting on the armrest. They were all waiting for me to say something.

"Riley, what happened?"Madison finally asked me. I took a deep breath and tried to gather my thoughts. I didn't really know how tell them what happened. I feel like if I told them what happened then they would be really disappointed in me. I tried to be a good person, but I just fucked it up. But they are my family and they love me the way I am. I shouldn't be hiding things from them anymore. That's right. I'm going to tell them! Just as I was about to speak we heard the front door open and then close. We all turned our heads toward the direction of the main hall, waiting for someone to show up and someone did walk in tho the living room. It was my dad. He was wearing a black business suit with a slightly crooked dark blue, kinda ugly tie. His brown hair looked kinda messy, probably due to the windy weather outside.