Try To Keep The Pace

This is IT!

"Riley!" Dani shouted at me,bringing me back to reality. I shook me head and looked at her with an apologetic smile. She had a notepad on her lap. She was trying to come up with the second verse of the song,while I was supposed to make the final touches on the music. Of course I couldn't focus on my work,because I kept on slipping back to yesterday. It has been in my mind since I came home from the hospital and it's really bugging me. Sure, Alice is really good looking. Yes,she also really smart,one of the smartest person I've ever seen,she's a straight A+ student. And yes,she is a straight student. But we can't overlook the fact that she's also a bully, a bitch, the queen bee of the school. The first time I'd met her she was bullying poor Dani. Tho I got back on her - even if it wasn't on purpose- by shutting her mouth up with super glue. Super glue was on her sweet lips, I hope it didn't hurt that much to get it down. When she kissed me it seemed healed,but I- BRAIN! STOP! You can't feel guilty now!

"Geez,Riley. You keep spacing out. Do you need a break?"Dani asked as she put her notepad down next to her on my bed. I sighed.

"Yeah,that would be good."I said quietly enough for her to hear. Dani looked at me,her face showing some concern. I smiled sadly. Not only Alice has been invading my mind,but also my never ending thoughts about my life and family. The last time I broke down got me some really unsettling dreams as well. I keep dreaming about mom. How she died. How weak she looked lat the hospital bed. Seeing Alice in the same state as mom didn't help me at all. Dad hadn't been home for a while now, I miss him. But when he is actually home, I wish he would disappear. Madison is always busy. Too much work and she keeps meeting with some old friend,whom I don't know. Unlike dad,Madison actually tries to spend time with me. At weekends we go out to eat or to watch a movie. Still,those times can't make me forget about other things. Max and Grace are busy with work and with Max's parents. Until they don't find a replacement for Melody,they won't get any free times. Matthew is of course off limit. I can't talk to him whenever I want to pour out my soul and all of my problems. I feel...alone.

"Is...everything okay?" Dani asked me and I put down my music sheets next to her notepad. I'm not alone. My sad smile turned to a warmer one as I gazed at the fragile beauty in front of me. Dani is here. With me.  

"Yes..." Who am I fooling? If I can't tell this to someone I will break! "No. I'm not."I said as I hung my head low,my hair covering my face. I felt my eyes tearing,but I tried to keep the inside. The mattress shifted as Dani sat closer to me. The next moment I felt her hand on my back and I had to wipe away my tears with the back of my hand.

"Do you...want to talk about it?"she asked nervously. I nodded. "What is wrong?" I took a deep breath and rose my head.

"Everything."I chuckled,thinking how over dramatic that sounded like.

"How?"

"I-I used to live here...when I was a kid. In this town."I said and sniffed. "This place,brings back memories."

"What memories?"Dani asked when I didn't continue my rant.

"About childhood. My brother. My dad. My uncles and aunt. And about my...mother."I muttered the last part painfully.

"Now that you mention it,you never talk about your mom."Dani said out aloud I suppose.

"It's because she's dead."I replied. Dani was quiet,not knowing what to say. "She got into a car accident and later on died in the hospital. My dad was driving the car,but he got away with a few scratches. At that time Matthew,my brother,was still here with us. When we heard the news,we rushed to the hospital. We all were messes. Madison was crying and gripping onto mom's hand,not letting it go. Me and Matthew were holding back our tears for mom's sake and because Madison asked us to try to not cry. Her,however,as soon as she saw mom on the white bed broke down. We stayed by her side all the time. My uncles and aunt came too. They were really sad,seeing their sister like that. Dad was there too,but instead of sitting next to her,he was sitting on chair in the far corner. Mom was fighting for 4 days before she passed. However when she died,she wasn't sad. She was, in fact the happiest person on the planet."I smiled at the memory.