Speak Up

Chapter 23

I watch the thick crimson blood pour out of the wound. There is an artery somewhere along where I had cut myself, but I wasn't sure if I had cut it or not. I wasn't even sure how long it will take me to bleed out. Maybe ten to fifteen minutes if I hit the artery.

Trey is still begging me to open up. After a few minutes, he stops. Good. I can be alone and think about my last thoughts in peace.

I sit down on my bed, continuing to watch the blood spill out, dripping onto the carpet.

I hear the door knob rattling as Trey makes another attempt to get into my room, but I don't turn away from my wound.

The door bursts open, and I hear Trey curse. I don't look up at him. He calls put to Kara to dial 911.

No, don't call them, I say silently. Just leave me here to die.

Trey walks into my room, taking off his shirt. I hear Kara's footsteps running along the carpet and her gasp when she stands at the door. She dials the number.

Trey kneels on the floor in front of me and wraps his shirt around my arm. "What are you doing to yourself, Zach?"

I push him away. "Leave me alone, Trey."

"I have to apply the pressure to stop the bleeding."

"I don't want you to stop the bleeding. I want you to just leave me here and allow me to die."

Trey shakes his head. "No. I'm not going to do that, Zach. I'm not going to stand here and watch you suffer because some dick wants to push you around like you're nothing. I'm not going to let him think it's okay to push you around like this or anyone else. I'm not going to let him bully you until you decide to take your own life."

I see the tears swell up in his eyes. He is trying to hold them back, but he doesn't. Seeing him cry made me do the same thing. I then ask myself why I was being selfish. Wanting to end my life and not give a damn about how others would feel. I don't want to care. I don't want to be here and go through the pain I constantly feel. Even if I speak up, stop Liam from doing what he does, the scars will always be there.

Trey once again grabs my arm to stop the bleeding. He put pressure on it, his green shirt turning dark as blood soak into it. Kara informs us that the ambulance is on the way, and then goes to meet them outside.

I try to wiggle my arm away from Trey a couple of times, not wanting him to stop the bleeding at all. Why couldn't he see that I wanted to die? Why was he trying to keep me alive?

Why did he care about me so much?

*****

I wake up from surgery later where the doctors made an attempt to switch my forearm back up after slicing it. A bandage is wrapped tightly around it.

Mom is sitting beside me, resting her hand on my cast. I turn my head towards her. Her eyes are red and puffy. Seeing her like this made me instantly feel like a horrible son. Why was I putting my mother through this? Rather than seeing her pain, I was only focusing on my own, finding it as an excuse to get out of it so I don't have to deal with it.

"Oh Zach," she whispers.

"I'm sorry, Mom," I tell her. "I tried to control myself, but I couldn't. I just found myself breaking inside."

Mom runs her hand through my hair. "Trey told me everything. Why didn't you tell me what was going on, Zach? I thought you were going to speak to Mrs Kingston about all of this?"

"Trey did tell her about what was going on, but Liam denied everything." I leave out how I didn't exactly tell the principal everything, and how I was afraid to. "I didn't tell you what was going on because I didn't want you to worry about me."