Speak Up

Chapter 16

I lied to the school nurse how I had fallen, and may have broken my forearm. I knew Trey was going to say something, speak up and tell the nurse the truth. But I shot him a look, begging him not to say anything.

Mom was at work and was unable to come pick me up, so she gave the nurse permission to drive me to the hospital to get my arm check out. The nurse was going to call for an ambulance, but Mom said there was no need to. Mom met us at the front entrance. She thanks the nurse and then leads me to the reception to fill out papers. Since I wasn't quite eighteen yet, she fills it out.

We sit down on a seat in the waiting room. She asks me what had happened, even though the school nurse had told her. Again, I lied and told her I had tripped. I wasn't sure if Mom believed me, but she doesn't say anything, continuing to fill out the papers.

She gets up to give the receptionist my papers. When she leaves, I glance down at my swollen forearm with a dark purple bruise. I did my best to keep my arm still so I could feel the pain. I glance at the small cut on my wrist that I made this morning. The thought I had this morning about cutting myself returned. I had to hold the urge to want to grab anything that was sharp enough to cut my skin. I couldn't do anything with everyone here.

Mom waits in the waiting room with me as we wait for a doctor to see me. I was worried she might get into trouble by her boss, but she said she is allowed to stay with me, and she is given the rest of the day off while I get treated.

We wait in the waiting room for an hour until a doctor called to take a look at my arm. X-rays were made to see where a break might be. Later I was giving some morphine and had my arm put into a splint while we waited for the result of x-rays.

I have no idea how much time has passed, but the doctor returns with the results. My forearm is fractured in one place, but the good thing it isn't so badly that I have to get surgery. The doctor put a cast on it, prescribing me some pain killers and then discharges me. Since my suicide attempt with my anxiety pills, Mom said I wasn't allowed to take any of the pain killers unless I was supervised. I don't even know how I will be supervised when she isn't always going to be around because of her rotating shifts.

When we reach home I was expecting Trey to be over here waiting for me to return, wanting to know how I was. But he wasn't. I couldn't even hear or see any movement coming from his house. Maybe I shouldn't count on him coming over to check on me after the fight we had earlier today.

Trey's bedroom is directly across from mine, so when I entered the room I see the bedroom dark. My sinks in my chest, sadden that my only friend may not be talking to me anymore. I feel stupid for getting angry with him for telling the principal about Liam. I shouldn't have gone off at him. He was only doing what was best... which is something I should also be doing.

Mom comes in, checking up on me to see how I was. I tell her I'm fine, and that I'm going to bed. Mom kisses my forehead and then leaves me to rest. I lie on my bed, not bothering to change out of my clothes. I try to sleep but the thoughts in my head were loud, taking me for a while to fall asleep.

I woke up a few times during the night in pain. My first thought was to crawl out of bed and grab the pain killers, but I had no idea where Mom had hid them so I couldn't get to them without her supervision. It made me feel like a toddler who needed consent supervision to make sure I wouldn't get into any mischief. But then again I knew why Mom had done what she did. She was only keeping me safe from doing another suicide attempt with pills. Although I could try to do something else rather than overdose on drugs. I won't lie. The thought of ending my life is still hanging around my dark thoughts, wondering if it's best for me to just disappear and I wouldn't have to be fearful around Liam. But I can't. Not after what I had put my mother through. I couldn't put her through it again.

By the next morning I was tired from the sleepless night. I wanted to stay home to rest, but I knew it was best I went to school. I have already missed some of my school work yesterday, and I didn't want to miss out on too much work.

Mom drops me off at school on her way to work, telling me to take care. I say goodbye to her and headed towards the school building. I looked around for Trey, unsure if I wanted to see him after the fight we had yesterday. I also glance around for Liam. I don't see him and I make my way towards the building, hoping I could make it in one piece to my locker.

"Zach!"

I turn to see Emily hurrying over to me with a concern look on her face. I give her a smile. "H-Hey."

"Trey told me what happened to you yesterday. How are you?"

"I-I fr-fractured m-my f-forearm."

"Ouch. I'm so sorry what happened."

"W-why a-are y-you s-sorry?"

"I'm sorry because of what my stupid boyfriend did."

"I-It w-was a-an a-accident."

Emily shakes her head. "No, Zach. It was not an accident. Anything Liam does is not an accident. You need to start speaking up. Tell him you will not tolerate with the constant bullying he does."

I knew she was right, and I was surprised also that she was telling me this. Normally it was Trey lecturing me on it. In my mind I knew what they were both saying was true, but the other half of me was still fearful to speak up.

I nod, biting down on my lip. I glance nervously around me, hoping Liam wasn't near to see the two of us talking.

Emily rests her hand on my good arm. "Hey, don't worry about him seeing us together. He can't stop two friends speaking to each other, can he?"

My heart sinks in my chest when she mentioned we were just friends. Is that all she sees me as? What about the note she left me the yesterday? That didn't seem like we were friends.

"Listen, are you able to help me tutor over the weekend?" Emily goes on. "I'm baby-sitting my brother and sister this afternoon so I think we should leave the tutoring today. And definitely tomorrow I can't do it because of the game."

"T-That's f-fine."

She smiles, thanks me and then walks away.

I start to walk towards my locker when I tripped over something. I hit the floor hard, landing on my fractured arm. I cried out in pain. I hear laughter behind me, and I don't have to look to see that it was Liam and his friends.

I bite my lip as I get up. Someone rushes over to me to make sure I was alright. It's Trey.

"Are you alright, man?" he asks me once I'm on my feet.

I nod. "Thanks, Trey."

Trey smiles. "How is your arm anyway? I wanted to come over and check on you once you returned home, but I went to bed early."

"My forearm is fractured."

"Ouch."

I took a real surprise that Trey was talking to me after the fight we had yesterday. I didn't think he would want to be my friend after the way I treated him. But it seems like he might have put all of that aside.

"Listen, Trey, about yesterday. I'm sorry for getting mad at you. I shouldn't get mad for something you only did with what was right."

Trey gives me a small smile. "It's alright, mate. I have been there, Zach. I understand you're afraid to tell the truth. I have been through it too. I used to be bullied all the time, terrified of what happens if I was to tell. But trust me, Zach. Once you tell, you will feel much better for yourself."

I nod, knowing I had to somehow get past my fear of Liam. I had to trust in myself that no matter what happens, Liam can't hurt me once I tell someone about him. He can threaten me, but I need to get past that fear.

I just wasn't sure how I was going to get past that fear just yet.

A/N: Hey, everyone. Sorry for taking awhile to post this chapter. I finished writing it a couple of days ago but I was just too tired to edit it before posting it. It's my last week for the Sydney Writer's Festival next week so hopefully I can get back into writing this.

So the next chapter is going to be the party that Emily invited Zach to. Share  your thoughts on what you think might happened in the next chapter, and also share your thoughts on this chapter in the comments below.