Strings

When Hurt Takes Over

"But what if it gets weird? She still has that tattoo of my name mom."

"I'm sure she does Stef. But you can't let your brain go off in a million directions right now. Just focus on coffee. Focus on one thing at a time. Regardless you will feel your emotions, and many of the feelings from the past. That's just natural. The real question you need to ask yourself is will you be ok never going to see her, can you live with that?

FLASHBACK ENDS

Feeling my knees shake a bit I looked to the menu once again for the millionth time thinking it would help me take my mind off of this. However it was doing non of that whatsoever.

"Stef?" Soon hearing a familiar voice I looked up to see Lena as a wide smile fell across my face and a shy one across hers.

"Hey Lena. It's nice seeing you again." Getting up and giving her a warm hug once again she hugged me back tight.

"It's nice seeing you too."

"Sorry I had no time to change." Pulling the chair out for her unconsciously she thanked me.

"That's ok. It's very fitting on you. Meaning it suits you very well."

"Thanks. So did you come from work too?"

"Yes. Long day I have to say." Watching her she took her blazer off placing it on the back of the chair as I took my uniform shirt off placing that on the back of my chair.

"Yeah? I can only imagine. Must be alot of work running a school but I'm sure you do a wonderful job."

"Thanks Stef. I try. So when did you become a cop?"

"MM about six years ago."

"That's amazing. I mean is it what you expected to be?"

"More to be honest. I can't imagine being anything else and it's hard for me to think of what I did before this." I said honestly as she let out a wide smile.

"I'm so glad. I really am. I know it was always a dream of yours and I'm happy to see it worked out for you."

"Thanks Lena. So who's the lucky person?" Looking confused at me I gestured to her wedding ring. Something I deeply hated.

"Oh um Monte. We met in Paris at school and moved back here last year to teach. We got homesick." She admitted smiling awkwardly.

"I can imagine. That's nice though. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks Stef. And you? I mean ..

"Oh no. Never married. Dated yeah off and on but that's about it." Smiling once again she soon broke eye contact looking over the menu.

"Um they have good cappuccinos here. Not sure if you have ever been here."

"I actually haven't and I pretty much know every coffee place. This one I must have missed."

"Yeah it's um relatively new. I come here on break when I patrol the beach area." Looking back at me I could see how uncomfortable she was and I had to admit it wasn't helping me at all. It was hard to believe that at one time we were so physically close and it was hard for us to keep our hands off each other. Now it seemed we were divided by years of hurt, misunderstanding and growth. It was hard to know what to say as I looked around myself biting my bottom lip as I soon could feel her eyes on me. As the minutes continued to go by slower then ever the waiter finally came by to take our order as we remained silent once again.

"So.." we both managed to say at the same time now laughing.

"You go first." I said.

"No you. It's ok."