Strings

When Hurt Takes Over

FLASHBACK

As I walked passed Caps office for the fourth time in less then five minutes I wasn't sure if I should tell her what was going on. I wanted to but I was afraid she would convince me that I should maybe see Lena and see what she had to say.

"Foster get in here." I soon heard her say as I passed by yet again. Letting out a sigh I turned around poking my head in.

"Yes Cap."

"Get in here and close the door."

Nodding my head I slowly walked in and closed the door behind me as I stood in front of her desk.

"Yes ma'am?"

Glancing up to me from her papers her face soon softened.

"I'm talking to you as my daughter not as one of my officers right now. What's wrong Stef?"

"Nothing." I lied.

"Really? Then why have I seen you walk passed my door at least five times in the last few minutes. What is on your mind?"

Looking to the ground to break eye contact I soon let out a sigh as I saw her walk over to me. Patiently she sat on her desk as I remained frozen unable to look at her.

"Eyes." Glancing up at her now her face remained soft and as hard as it was for me to admit she knew me very well by this point. She knew it was very hard for me to come to her when there was something on my mind and she was knew it was hard for me to express myself. It had been something Sharon tried to help me with and succeeded but after she passed away I built a wall around myself letting no one in, except Lena and Callie. Part of me regretted letting Lena in for yes I knew I fucked up but there was a good amount of hurt I was feeling along with guilt.

"What's wrong Stef? You know you can talk to me. Even if it's just one word get it out honey." With my eyes locking with hers I nervously bit my bottom lip.

"I ran into Lena." I blurted out as her face looked surprised but not at the same time.

"Oh really. When?"

"MM two weeks ago at Club Cabana."

"I see. And did you talk?"

"We did yeah. I mean for a bit."

"And how was it?"

"It was um, it was ok. I um, I um gave her my card. Like an idiot I told her if she had time we could meet for coffee and I didn't expect her to text me but she did and I haven't texted her back and I don't know what to do." Feeling my emotions get the best of me I sat in the chair looking to the ground once again.

"Stefanie, listen to me and look at me please." Diverting my eyes up to hers again she took one of my hands holding it tight."It is ok. You understand? I want you to relax and calm down this is not the end of the world. Just because you gave her your card doesn't mean you have to jump into bed wit her."

My eyes bugged out at this a she let out a laugh.

"I simply mean it's just coffee if you choose to meet with her. Just talk it doesn't have to be anything more. Catch up. If you choose to go. If you don't than you don't there is no law saying you have to go."

"But I'm the one who gave her my card mom. I initiated it."

"Ok, then why did you give her your card? To be polite or something else?"

"I'm not sure. I think I genuinely want to see how she is."

"Ok then let it be just that. Why does it need to be more?"