The Pseudo Bride (Revising + Translating)

Pseudo 14: Candice Natividad

Pseudo 14: Candice Natividad

Welcome back Manila. Kababa lang namin ng eroplano. Seriously, hindi ko masyadong na-enjoy ang trip. Because Vio isn't with me. At lalong hindi ako nag-enjoy because Luiz was with me ALL THE TIME. Para nga siyang guard na binabantayan ako. Every time I do that he'd say no or that's dangerous. Whatever.

I expected Vio at the airport man lang but he didn't come. I didn't even receive a call or text kahit man lang blank message o kaya simple text like 'buhay ka pa ba?' WALA.

I texted Liz, instead. Sure she knows where Vio is. Kakambal niya 'yun, e. But to my gut, she replied: "Somewhere I don't know." Go to hell.

Tapos pagdating ko ng bahay, maraming tao. May mga commotion. Mom, Dad, Race and even his parents was there with some people new to my eyes. Sumilay ang ngiti sa labi ni Mommy when she saw me entered the living room. I smiled back.

"Here comes the bride!" my smile turned to grim line. Another messed of my life.

Race is smiling at me widely that made me irritate at him. "Hi," bati pa niya.

"Hello.. jerk," I turned my back. Was it me or I saw scattered pieces of papers called wedding invitations on the floor? Bull. Of course. 2 weeks from now sisintensyahan na ko. My wedding day supposed to be my fairytale turned to my death sentence. Galing di ba?

Umakyat ako ng kwarto ko and locked the door. Everything is messed up. Vio is missing in action. This wedding is a whole mess. My life is a mess. Si Vio na nga lang ang pag-asa ko. I thought if I would be able to tell him, he'd runaway with me and we'll live happily ever after. But he's MIA! Hopeless.

I let my whole being fall purposely on my bed. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of everything. I need to have a plan. Immediately. Pero pano? I groaned in exasperation. Bwisit. Ba't ba kasi pinepeste ang buhay ko?

A knock on my door shaked my mind off from my thoughts. "Sino 'yan?"

"It's me," sagot niya kahit nakapasok na siya sa loob. Kapal talaga.

"Kung pepestehin mo na naman ako, nagtagumpay ka na. So better get out of my sight. Wala ako sa mood makipaglokohan ngayon. At some other time nalang, pwede?" the thought of him waiting me at the altar made me shiver. That's.. implausible. Kahit kailan hindi ko na-imagine ang sarili kong magpakasal kay Race. Race had been my worst nightmare. He used to abused me when we were kids. He used to bully me. Mabuti na nga lang at lumayas sila ng bansa because if not baka mauwi ako sa suicide dahil sa mga pinaggagawa niya noon sakin. It's just now that I have a gut to picked a fight with him. Siguro dahil alam kong hindi na siya 'yung dating siya and that he already matured, a bit. He matured a bit! But at least he's not into bullying na or.. he is? Hala!

"No," humalukipkip siya at tumingin sakin. I fired my glare on him. "Ikaw lang naman kasi ang nag-iisip niyan. You always think that I'm no good near at you. That I always do horrible things when I'm near you. God, parang pinapamukha mo saking wala akong nagawang mabuti sa'yo in our entire life. Parang pinapamukha mong delubyo ang dala ko when I'm getting near you," hindi ako sigurado but there's a glint of pain in his face. As if he's really in pain. Huh!

"Because you know you are. You made disastrous things on me. You made stumble on mudpit when we were in grade two. You push me on the edge of stairs so I ended up two weeks in the hospital. You locked me up in the haunted restroom when we were in grade 5 that's why I am a claustrophobic! You put tarantula in my bag when we were 8 and that creature bit me and made me suffer in fever in a full exam week why I get low grades and why I needed to study during summer vacation! Did you see it? You did nothing but to make me sick. Kaya hwag ka nang magtaka kung bakit ganito ako sa'yo. It is because I loathe you. I abhor you!" I shouted on his face. He was taken aback. Tulala lang siya and his face turned to white pale. Parang hindi siya makapaniwalang ginawa niya lahat ng iyon sa akin. Ano ba siya nagka-amnesia? Shutang inerns niya. Hindi naman siya na-aksidente para hindi maalala lahat ng katarantaduhang ginawa niya sa akin noon.

"I did.. all of that?" napayuko siya and I also saw his hands turned to fist. Geez. Ayokong galitin siya. Alam kong natuto na kong lumaban at sumagot sa kanya pero alam ko ring hinding-hindi ako mananalo sa kanya. Either it's physical or emotional, he'd had the victory. And yeah, I'm scared of him and I don't wanna push his buttons. Baka magsisisi ako sa huli.

"Jesus, I did those things to you?" naihilamos niya ang mga palad niya sa mukha niya. He seems frustrated. He seems in deep deep misery. "But.. I was a kid back then.. I don't know.. Arrgh!"

Before I knew it, he walked out and slammed the door. Hard. And it made me realized that he didn't know that he'd been my worst nightmare all over the years.