ON THE RUN

Chapter 33

"Hey..." Light whispered and entered the room, her hair and shirt wet. The blood was almost gone. It had left a pink tint behind.

"Hey..." I whispered back. She came over and stood next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. She looked at Party and sighed. "He was a good man." she squeezed my shoulder.

"That he was..." I nodded. I sighed and stood up. I pressed my lips against Party's pale, cold forehead, trembling ever so slightly. "Can you bury him without me?" I asked quietly.

"What?" Light sounded more than just confused.

"I don't want to watch him go into the ground." I mumbled.

"You should really be at your brother's funeral..." she said. I fliched at 'brother's funeral'

"I also should have stayed here and protected him, but I didn't do that either, now did I?" I said and left the room.

"Kobra-" I heard Light call after me, but she stopped herself.

I just didn't want to. It's a pretty common saying that parents should never have to watch their children die, but I just think that you should never have to see any family member die. You should never have to see anybody that you love did in general. But that just doesn't work out... people die and at some point it's gonna be a loved one. Even if you are that loved one. Death sucks. I sat on the couch and existed... that's all I did... existing.

I watched Light go to the bathroom and go back to Party's room with a wet washcloth. She walked back and forth a few times the cloth in hand... rinsing it... every time it was redder than the time before. I stood up and went to stand at the door frame. Light was rubbing the blood off my brother's skin and even tried to get it out of his clothes but to no avail. The more she walked the stronger she limped. After gently wiping the blood off of Party's face she stood up straight and held the cloth in hand. She looked at it. Her hands were shaking. She limped past me, tears on her face, and to the bathroom. She dropped the cloth in the process and went straight to the tab, rubbing her hands furiously, trying to get the blood off.

She was frantic. I noticed one of her hands going to her hip, while she rested the other one on the sink... she looked at herself in the mirror, her expression intense. She looked at herself for a while. Suddenly she pressed her fingers violently into her hip and cried out in pain, sinking to the floor.

What the hell?!

I stood in shock before I realized what she did... she purposely hurt herself. But why? Was she trying to punish herself? Distract herself?

"Why?" I whispered as I crouched down beside her stroking the hair out of her sweaty face. She didn't answer. She was clutching her hip and breathed heavily. I moved her hand away slowly and pulled her pants down a tiny bit... the gauze was red... she reopened her wound. I sighed and just sat down next to her pressing her shaking figure close to my chest.

What should I do?

"I'm losing it, aren't I?" she mumbled. I pressed her tighter against me, resting my head on top of hers. "I don't know why I did that... my brain told me pain would help...." she cried.

"More pain won't help." I said.

"I know, I know." she sighed. "I'm overwhelmed, I guess." 

"Ya... me too." I kissed her head. 

"Will this ever go away?" she asked. "The fear? The panic? The pain?"

"I hope so." I said. And I did. I really did. "We just have to fight through this... no matter how hard it is. We have to stay strong." 

"Okay. Yes." she nodded, wiping the tears off her face. "Will you help me up?" she asked.

"Of course!" I stood up quickly and hooked my arms under her pits to gently pull her up.  She scrunched up her face, but didn't make a sound. She was being strong. When she was standing I gave her a short kiss and let go slowly, seeing if she would stand without help. She did. I quickly went to Party's room and closed the door, I picked up the cloth and went back to Light. I threw the cloth in the sink and saw her look at it for a second before turning to me and breathing in and out once. 

"Okay?" I asked.

"Yes." she nodded. I took her hand gently and we walked to the dining table. She was limping pretty badly. I pulled a chair back and gestured for her to sit down. 

"Gentleman..." she snickered. I smiled and pushed the chair under her butt as she sat down. I quickly grabbed some water bottles and sat down next to her. "Thank you." she smiled.

"You're welcome." I took her hand again. "How about we just sit for a bit... wait for Ghoul and Jet to come back... hm?" I whispered. She was looking at our hands and smiled a bit. 

"Okay." she nodded. 

I tried to distract Light and of course myself. We told each other funny stories from the killjoy life. There was no way of avoiding Party in these, but at some point I just forgot he was dead. When Jet and Ghoul came through the door I unintetionally expected Party to follow... but he didn't.

"Wow..." I whispered, looking at his door.

"What?" Light asked looking at the door as well.

"I forgot he was dead for a second. I expected him to follow you guys..." I pointed at the guys, tears in my eyes. 

"Fuck..." Ghoul sighed. They sat down in front of us. I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. 

Awkward silence...

"What should we do next?" Ghoul asked.

"You guys will bury him." I stated. 

"WE will bury him." Light looked at me. 

"No. I don't want to." I shook my head.

"You will regret not being at your brother's funeral later on in life." Jet said.

"I don't care." I shrugged.

"Really though?" Jet asked. I sunk back in my chair and looked at my hands. I felt the tears coming. 

"I can't do it." I cried.

"Yes, you can." Light took my hand. "We have to be strong, remember? All of us. Even you." she said calmly. "I'm not letting you miss this. Jet is right, you will regret this decision. Please just come with us. You don't have to do or say anything. Just be there, Kobra. Be there for Party." I didn't look at her. "...for Gerard..." she mumbled. I finally looked at all of them. They looked concerned. I realized that my face was drenched in tears. Again, I wiped them away quickly. "Will you be there?" she asked. 

"Yea.." I nodded. 

"Good." Ghoul approved.

"We should start digging." Jet put his hand on Ghoul's shoulder. 

"Alright." Ghoul took a deep breath. 

A/N: What the fuck am I doing you ask? I have no clue. Let's see where this takes me. (I did not read over this again so excuse any mistakes.)