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Seattle, 1991.
The rain had just stopped pouring it's ass off, and it was now slowing to a sprinkle. I lit a cigarette, my hair was soaked. I was heading back from the corner store, I had to get some rolling papers. Yeah, 7 years later a lot of shit has happened.
Ever since I left so much shit changed. I moved to Seattle and stayed with my Uncle Donny for about a year, I got introduced to heroin a month after I moved in. I became an addict, until Don introduced me to a band he'd been seeing at his record company. Geffen Records.
Their name at the time was Footless Monkeys. Which consisted of a guy with long black hair named Josh, a beautiful chick named Liz who was tall and had purple hair, but now she continuously dyes it, and lastly Vicky who was a bit stuck up but I learned to know that's just her. She was pretty, with white hair that was wild curly.
I got to know them, they needed a singer and a front guitarist. Within 2 weeks we were all pretty close, and began writing songs. One day I was in the bathroom shooting up, and Liz found me. She held me, and told me that her and the band was going to get me help. She asked me why, for some reason I trusted her, because she was the nicest and closest to me out of everyone in the band. I told her about what happened before I moved in with Donny, I didn't include Kurt's name, or Jason's, or Krist's. I just told her 'this guy.'
Pretty soon I was in rehab, and 5 months later I was out. Clean.
Every once in a while, still to this day, I'll sneak off when I get really bummed, and I'll shoot up. The girls haven't had a clue, they think I've been clean for years. But I'm not an average user anymore, so it wasn't effecting me.
I still drank, and smoked, I still drink and smoke. I drop acid a lot.
Heroin and coke were my occasional things.
Anyways, I got out of rehab, and we finished the album we were working on. We had changed the band name to Cyanide, and by 1986 we released our first album 'The Bridge' it didn't go big, but it did around Seattle.
By 1990 we released our 2nd album, 'Cyanide: Live' which was famous around Seattle as well, but Geffen gave us word a week ago, that our newest album, 'Eat My Heart', (which I wrote, ALL OF IT) was scheduled to be released a month from now March 1st, 1991. Our manager said it was bound to make a break in our career, I was pretty stoked. I wasn't all about being famous, but I wanted our music to be heard.
Today, I'm just a grungy closed off chick, who loves music. I'm getting by just like everyone else.
Rehab taught me to not live in the past and move on with the future, of course still for at least 4 years Kurt crossed my mind every single day. Now, it's only every once in a while. Nirvana became big, I hear his voice everywhere, and that's the only time I think about him. I haven't been with another dude since him, and the girls and Josh always tell me to 'get out there'. But I tell them each time that I'm in love with the booze, drugs, and rock n' roll. I don't need a guy.
Each time they roll their eyes and tell me I'm wild.
I love those assholes, they helped change my life. I've overcome what happened to me. Now i'm just getting by.
I smiled as I finished my cigarette and approached my apartment building. Our apartment was HUGE, it had a room for me, a room for Liz that was right next to mine, across from ours was Vicky's, and next to hers was Josh's. Each of us had our own bathroom, there was a kitchen and a living room. We were living like Guns N' fuckin' Roses or some shit man.
As the elevator reached my floor, I stepped out and used my key to open the door.
Liz was passed out on the couch, I had smoked her out before I left and my weed guy stepped his game up so she was blown away. I laughed and plopped down beside her, joining her in the nap. We had a show tomorrow, so why the hell not take an early rest?
