Isolated

Chapter 48

Chapter 48

That night ended better than it started. Wanting air thanks to my continuous perspiration, we sat outside on the front porch swing. The rain stopped, allowing the soothing sounds of crickets to hit our ears as we talked. I gave him details about my dream, talking about Jackson and leaving out the way it ended with him. I also hated admitting to him that I've had several nightmares in a row and that they were getting worse each time. Apparently, I wasn't the only one.

Ironically, Luke admitted that he's been experiencing nightmares this past week too. He said the intensity of his has also been increasing. Unlike the content of mine, his dreams reflected the guilt he felt when he's conscious.

Rubbing his palms together from where he sat beside me, staring out into the damp and dark front yard, he sighed. "They are about me... killing people," he said. "Anyone. Just strangers, but still people. It's vivid and the images don't leave my head after I wake up. It looks so real. The worst part of it is I don't get punished in any way because I'm a police officer. Being a cop somehow makes it okay to kill people," he said, disgust growing with a scowl on his lips. "And then yesterday, my dream was reversed and I was the victim. I dreamt of being shot down by a version of myself. And I remember the look in my eyes... of no worry or remorse. The dreams are either killing or being killed. Equally horrifying and I wake up feeling like shit about myself."

Luke's words helped me relax more about my own dreams. While I wished he wasn't going through it, it was comforting knowing I wasn't alone in my nightmares. It made it easier to talk about my own dreams with Jackson. He knew better than to push me on the subject, but I did give him insight about my mentality on the matter. How I wouldn't forgive him, that I hated him, that I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to find peace on the subject. It was the first time really talking about Jackson and letting my thoughts be said. Did it piss me off, talking about Jackson? Damn straight. But by the end, I felt better to have ranted about him.

Despite sharing details and gaining closure knowing we weren't alone in our nightmares, things were still awkward the next day.

We acted normal around each other, but moments existed where tension pulsed back into the air. Luke was more observant, careful and supportive. If it was because he wanted to be my crutch over my issues with Jackson again or if it was the personal secret he informed me on, I didn't know. Probably both. I mean, I was still reeling from what he revealed about the ring; I'm sure he was adjusting to my knowledge of it too. Thankfully, since my questions were answered about it, I managed pushing it out of my mind more than before.

The next few days passing helped too. The awkwardness faded more and the information Luke dropped on me wasn't at the forefront of my mind. My everyday business of watching Chrissy helped and was fun while Luke was enjoying his time going on longer jogs. And what was even better was the fact that my bad dreams weren't as severe as the last one. Still there, but nothing vivid enough to leave me screaming. We even started talking about doing different things. More specifically, how we should soon check out the land and start searching. We brainstormed different ideas of how to disguise ourselves better. I even asked Luke if he could teach me a few fighting or shooting techniques. I wanted to be ready, which he agreed with.

Those few days of low tension and normal life didn't last.

"Thanks again for understanding. Sorry I was unable to call like the other time to give you a heads up," Grace said after her daughter calmed down over her mother's arrival.

Every time Grace gets here, Chrissy runs up and gives her mom the biggest hug when she arrives. I remember doing that with my mother. Except I wanted to hug my mom every time she left the fucking house and was away from me.