MY CHILDHOOD JOCK (BWWM)

Terry Johnson

Kendra POV

Terry Johnson.

There it was.

His name carved on the cement:

The cool air blew slowly as everything was now in slow motion, from the leaves to Jake hands rub behind my back. There were two freshly flowers placed on top of were he lay; must be my mothers. I never once visit him because I won't accept him not being here anymore. I never visited him because I'm afraid or ashamed of being the problem of his death. I never visited him because I'm not ready to face reality. I never visited him because I'm not at a position to make him proud.

"I'll leave you two alone." Jake whispers and walked away to somewhere else. I took me about seven minutes to find the right words but I had none.

I was speechless.

"I -- uh." Trying my best to begin.
"Hi dad, how you been?" I wasn't expecting an answer from my father and I wasn't sure what he had to say about me being here. I took a deep breathe to cope with the pain I had before. "I'm doing pretty fine, you saw what happen between me and Vicky and I want to apologize for taking it that far. When those cruel came out her mouth, I lost it. I'm sorry." Tears start to work out my eyes. "I really miss you. Mom miss you. We think about you everyday and I'm sure you're watching over us with God by your side. I want you to come back, please come back. I love you." I gazed down at the ground. "You probably can't huh? The big guy up there want you to keep him company huh? But dad, Jake and I are dating now and I'm pretty scared because I'm not used to it, I'll get used to it because I really like him; more than I thought I did. Scary right? He's the one that took me here and I'm not sure how to react." I chuckled. "I remember when I first had Jake as a friend and you thought he was gay but then you realize that he's not so you got very protective. You got over it when you realize what his intentions were. I know you like Jake but I can picture how many death stares or threats you'll give him every time he'll come around. Like that time he took me to prom, you gave the longest speech of threats that I've ever heard. I'm sure you saw what me and Jake 'perform' at a party and thanks for not striking Jake down with lighting. Thanks for not killing me as well and please don't tell mom because I know you're the type who'll snitch at anytime." I wipe my tears and look up at the sky with a smile.
"And did you see my last boyfriend? Chanjon? I feel so terrible what I did to him and I hope he forgives me. If you were still here, you would of ask him so many stereotypical questions like you did when I first had a white friend and I loved you for that." I then look at my fathers stone and felt put a jacket over my shoulders. Realizing it was Jake, he bent down and place a Bouquet of flowers on top of the grave and did a little prayer.

"It would be disrespectful if I didn't say acknowledge your dad." Jake got up and stare at the flowers that were on the grown. "Long time no see sir, I know I've brought too many flowers; more than I give Kendra. I thought the flowers from two weeks ago would of dread off but I guess."

Wait? Jake visited him before?

"How's it going up there with my mom? She's giving any trouble? I know she can be quiet to handle but I'm pretty sure my big buddy up there can handle her. She's probably cranky that I don't visit her; I will though. I promise mom. I'm positive that you already knew about me and Kendra and I'm happy that it did so in advance, I'm sorry for the things that I'm going to do to her. Take care of yourself sir, I'll visit again." Jake gaze up at the sky and then at me. "It looks like it's going to rain. You have anything else to say?"

I immediately grab jakes hand and let the tears come down my cheeks. Jake put me into a hug and when he did, I began to cry loudly and just let my emotions get the best of me. I screamed my dads name between tears, Jake didn't budge and held me in his arms as he runs his hands on my back. Minutes later, we were back in the car and Jake began driving. The rain started to pour heavy enough for Jake to put the emergency light on.

"You want me to drive?" I asked as the windows were now foggy to the point of making it difficult for Jake to see.

"No it's fine."Jake chuckled. A nervous chuckle. "I guess your dad is crying because of this rain."

"Jake. Baby I can drive."

"I got it Kendra." He tightened his grip to the wheel and took a deep breathe. "I dont want anything bad to happen." He waited for me to say something or to argue.

I didn't. I just put my heads on windows, gave a little and close my eyes.

~

"Babe, wake up." Jake quickly shook my shoulders and unbuckle my seatbelt.
I opened my eyes and saw that we weren't home or even at jakes house but I did notice the rain got worst.
"The radio said a hurricane is coming and it'll be unsafe to drive so I stop at a near hotel. I called our parents already."

I gaze at at Jake who had so much frightening expression that I've seen before when lighting hits. Jake is afraid of lightning and he's been driving all this time. "Let's go inside." I immediately grab his hands that were shaking with fear. We were lucky the parking had covers to shield us from the rain. I tightly held jakes had as we walk inside the hotel, we reserved a room and went straight to the room.
Once inside the hotel room, a huge boom sound burst out atmosphere which made Jake jump. His hands began to shake so I lead him to the bed and to make things worst; this lightning was consistent and evertime it came, Jake closes his eyes. I was about to reach out and close the light but Jake open his eyes.

"Please don't leave me." He eyes began to water which made my heart raced with nervous. I then remember the procedure I usually do when lighting hits.

"Close your eyes and count to five, If I'm not back by your side then scream my name." I slowly let go of jakes hand and gave him a assurance expression. He close his eyes and began counting as I ran by the door to close the light and lighting hits at every step that I take. When Jake reach the number 'three', I grab his hands fast and use the sheets to cover us. Whenever it's raining and lighting hits, And we're not next to each other then Jake calls me on the phone during the storm.

Another lighting hits and Jake shutters with nightmare. I wouldn't do this if we're friends but not that we're dating I can. "I'm right here." I climb on top of Jake and laid my ears to his chest with our hands tangled with each other. Jake heart rate was still racing but not as much as it was in the beginning. He didn't say much, only let the rain hit and thunder spark through the window. Jakes body plus the covers made it hard for me to stay awake and I usually wait for Jake to fall asleep first so I know he's alright but for some reason I couldn't. I knew Jake was awake because he continues to caress my knuckles as we're holding hands. About twenty minutes of peaceful silence, I heard Jake softly snores while the storm was still going on outside. I slowly move more to the side of the bed as Jake hold tightly to both my hands and wrap my left legs around him, I was trying so hard to get more comfortable that Jake just let go of one my hands and use that same hands to just pulled me closer to him. "How can he still do this and sleep?" I whispered and close my eyes to let the comfort of Jake and the covers to drift me away from the storm.