Strings

Converse

FLASHBACK

"So you can put your things wherever you would like. I want you to feel like this is your home baby." the short red head said to me as she smiled softly and I failed to return the smile looking around the pretty yellow room. There was no way I could tell her this room was pretty or let on that I liked it. Plus I didn't want to get attached not at all.

"I am not sure what you like to eat so maybe we can go out to eat and go grocery shopping later. That way you can pick out what you like. But does Italian sounds good or Mexican? Hey or some beach tacos. That could be fun huh?"

As I stared out the window still not responding to her I felt her walk over to me and gently place her hand on my arm as filched.

"Hey don't fucking touch me lady." I growled as her face grew sad.

"I'm sorry Stefanie. That won't happen again honey but we don't use that language here. Now, you're not in a dangerous place babygirl and I'm not going to hurt you. Ever. But we need to respect one another and cursing is not respectful. So how about we make a deal. HUh? I will respect you not liking any hugs or physical contact if you respect the no cursing rule. MM?"

"Fine." I said taking a seat on the bed as her face grew more concerned and I continued to eyeball her. Why was she so damm nice? Why was she calling me these names that no one ever had but that I liked? What did she want and what was she getting out of this?

"So baby doll dinner is up to you what would you like?"

"Why does it matter to you what I want? Like you give a crap or care even? Just eat what you want." I said rolling my eyes.

"MM I do actually care honey. Mainly because if you're going to be staying with me I at least want to know what your favorite foods are. I mean who wants to go around eating food they hate." she chuckled coming over to the bed and sitting beside me as I moved further away from her. My eyes could only look at her hatefully as she tried to make me smile but I was not budging.

"Hey, to be honest I haven't been out in awhile since my husband passed. And I've been dying to try this new taco truck and maybe walk around the beach a bit. They have this fair there that I've been dying to go to but who wants to go alone. But if that's not your thing I get. We can always do something else if you would like honey."

As much as I didn't want it to be my thing it sounded ok and I did like tacos and fairs. But it was hard to admit it, really hard as I glanced to my hole filled shoes and back in her eyes to see her smiling once again warmly at me.

"It's fine." I responded rudely.

"Well that is wonderful. I look forward to it doll face. Now I'm going to try to find something that fits since I haven't been out in ages. You help yourself in the kitchen to whatever you want. Don't be shy. I mean I probably bought to much sugar but hey whats' life without it." She joked once again as I watched her leave the room.

"Oh before I forget." she said turning back around and going into the closet where she got out a shoe box and handed it to me. "I picked these up the other day for you. But if you hate them you don't have to wear them but I though they were cute." She smiled placing the box next to me on the bed as she left the room closing the door behind her. As I sat there for a few minutes wondering if she was going to lock me in I never heard it lock and soon opened the box. It was then I saw a pair of brand new converse that were navy blue. There was no way I could have these. No way for it must be some sort of trick. But I was curious as I took my old tattered shoes off putting the new ones on. It was like another world as they were so shiny, they were so new and I loved them. Oh boy did I love them more then anything as I got up and walked around in them. For the first time I had shoes on that weren't too big, or too small and that were new and I didn't want to take them off for anything. However, as I had been so consumed in my thoughts I had not seen her come in smiling at me once again.

"Do you like them?" she asked happily standing beside me.

"They are ok. But I know I can't keep them and once you get rid of me I'll need to give them back so I don't want them." I said pulling them off and throwing them back in the box angrily.

"Well, I hope not to get rid of you Stefanie. I am not fostering you to just get rid of you. I hope we can be friends and I hope you let me take care of you honey. And if you decide to leave, because I'm not kicking you out, those shoes are yours to have baby. Honest."

It was hard for me to listen to her words and believe her as my eyes remained on the ground.

"How about we get ready for that fair? I could go for some cotton candy too."

As she continued to smile at me yet again I nodded my head at her. Not fully trusting it but for the moment she seemed ok. Little did I know I would end up loving her more then anything and she would be the only mother I would ever know.

FLASHBACK ENDS

Thinking of Sharon always tore me apart as I checked the back of the GED book for the next test. She would want me to do it and I knew she was angry at me for how I had behaved after she passed. She never wanted this for me, ever and she had taught me to control my temper, and my anger. But life had just gotten crazy when she passed and for years it left me lost, dead inside and searching. But I was a mother now and I couldn't afford to be this way anymore. Not in the least for Callie deserved me and a life together regardless of my issues.