"I can't sleep Luke."
"Calum, go to bed"
"Lukkkeeeee I can't"
I groaned and rolled out of bed. Seems as if this is happening all too often. It's scary if I'm honest. All I want is for Calum to be okay, but that's that exact oppsite he was.
I quiety walk to his room, which all across the house. I heard crying from the other side. I knew exactly what is happening.
I opened the door but it was locked. "Calum! Open the door."
more crying.
"Calum! I swear! Open the goddamn door!"
no responce.
"Calum Hood!" now i was screaming "Open the door!"
I started banging on the door, trying to force it open. "Calum! Please baby. Open the door, everything is okay."
"What's going on?" I turned on my heel to see Ashton standing wearing a sweatshirt about 2 sizes too big.
"He's not opening the door. Something is wrong Ashton, I don't know what to do." I was now freaking out. My best friend was in there hurting himself.
Ashton nodded, knowing what I was thinking too. He whispered through the door, "calum, baby it's me, ashton, please open the door."
"No." calum sniffeled.
"Why not? I just want to talk to you." I spoke through the door.
"I want to be alone. I'm fine guys." He whispered.
"We know you're not fine Cal." I said back. Just then the door clicked indicating that he unlocked it. Ashton and I barged through the door to find Calum hugging his knees tightly to his chest and his head between his knees while sitting in an empty bathtub.
I saw a small amount of blood ok the button of the tub, knowing he self harmed. Sometimes the sleep paralysis gets so bad that the demons tell him to hurt himself. Even if they didn't, I still feel like Calum would self harm because he always need control in something
"Oh baby" ashton sighed and took a seat on the ledge and I followed him.
"Calum?" I whispered. "What?" He groaned.
"Everything is going to be okay."
----
Ashton's pov
That night was hell. No other words to describe.
After Luke and I took care of Calum's wrists and got him calmed down, I brought him to my room to cuddle.
I was rubbing his little tummy and playing with his hair. I tried to distract him for himself, if that makes sense. I was telling him about random things or stories.
A little longer later, I noticed I wasn't getting any response. I looked down to see Calum asleep. Dark purple bags permanently plastered underneath his eyes. Sharp cheekbones, resulting in loss of chubby cheeks, oh how I miss those. Along with Dried, peeling skin and thin hair. He looked sick. He is sick.
One of the worst things in the world, is watching your best friend wither away. At first, when he told me he was too afraid to sleep and he needed to be in my bed, I hated it. I was raised with the mindset of "mind over matter." I thought Calum was fine, that the episodes would pass after awhile.
That wasn't the case unfortunately. Every single night he would come into Luke, Michael or my room bagging to sleep with us. Of course we let him come in, we would be pretty awful best friends if we didn't.
I remember this day like it was yesterday. It was 3 am and I heard a bang. Not a super loud bang but loud enough for me to go and check out what it was.
The whole house was pitch black except the bathroom. I open the door to see the shock of my life.
I immediately start crying, which makes Calum start to cry. Wiping away my tears, I find supplies to clean up the cuts.
"I'm sorry"
"I know"
"I'm really really sorry"
"I know Calum. I know."
I dabbed the bloody area and bandaged it up. He winced in pain and closed his eyes.
"Can I at least ask why?" I question him and held his shaky hand. Sweat was dripping down his forehead and his breathing started to labor. I sensed a panic attack coming on.
"Calum, Calum look at me." I gently grabbed his face with both of my hands and had him look me in the eyes.
"Everything is going to be okay. There's nothing to worry about. Luke, Michael and I will all take care of you." I said and held him in for a hug.
He pulled away quickly and almost glared at me. "You don't get it to you?"
"Get what?" I asked curiously.
"I've become friends with my nightmares. I consider them as my artwork. Something I created, something that is personal to me. They're my twisted sense of dreams. I don't have monsters under my bed, I have demons in my head."
I stared blankly at him, then down to his wrists. What happened to the old Calum?
It happened too fast. I can't go back and save him from himself. He's too far gone. If he thinks this is apart of him, why would he ever want to change?
My absolute biggest fear is that I will find Calum dead.
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Welp not too sure how I feel about this one but whatever I updated. Don't forget to comment and vote! Love ya
