the sugar daddies club

8. I Don't Want to Talk About That

Monday Night

Perrie

"My father is very appreciative for what you've done for our family," I say sitting on the couch beside Zayn. He wraps his arm around my shoulder as he always does. The shoulders of my shirts were beginning to smell like his Old Spice deodorant.

"Thank you," Zayn says kissing my cheek. "I'll do anything to make you happy. I missed you today. Did you miss me?"

"Am I allowed to?" I ask.

"Of course you are," he says. "It's not like I asked you if you love me."

"I guess I did miss you somewhat today," I reply. "I think about you all the time."

"I hope you do," Zayn says. "I'm kind of hard to forget."

"Does it get easier?" I ask, "Lying to people about this?"

It's part of the job, Perrie. We can't let people in on our secret endeavors so you'll have to lie more frequently than your use to. So, yes. It do get easier.

I hated all of the restrictions to this agreement and now I had to lie to my family and friends about my sex and love life. Leigh-Anne does it so easily. She easily covers it up with a lie. It all sucked so bad. But it was helping me get what I needed in my life. I had money and I could get me a car. My dad had a job. Things were going great so far.

"Can you help me come up with some things to say if I have to lie?" I ask.

"Sure; I'll give it a go," Zayn says. "You're hanging out with your friends and you just got there, but I call you because I want you. What do you say?"

"I tell them that I'm going to my dorm," I answer.

"No. They'd instantly go looking for you," he replies. "Say that you went into town to meet a potential employer or if it's late in the day, tell them that you're going to dinner with you parents."

"I can't just leave," I say. "I don't have car."

"You can keep one of mine," Zayn says. "Your choice of course."

"What if you want me to meet you at your office?" I ask, "What can I say?"

"Say that you're working on your thesis paper," he replies. "It's worked well so far."

"Sooner or later someone is going to want to see that paper," I say.

"I have it covered," Zayn says. "When you need it just let me know."

I nod my head, "Alright."

"This may be hard, but once things start speeding up, it'll get easier," he says standing off the couch. "C'mon, let's go into the bedroom."

Wait. I want to talk about something else.

I keep thinking about Zayn telling me about how he won't settle down. It's been bothering me since I heard it and it doesn't make sense. I know there's a reason as to why he felt this way and why he was doing this. Yes; I shouldn't be in his emotional business, but I feel like I have a right to know, You don't just get invited into something like The Sugar Daddies Club and automatically say yes. Something happened and I wanted to know what, why, and how.

"I don't want to talk about that," Zayn says grabbing my hand.

"Why not?" I ask as he pulls me off the couch.

"Because I said I don't, that's why," he angers dragging me to the bedroom.

"That's not a viable answer," I say. "Can it be that serious?"

Zayn opens the bedroom door. I pull it close and look at hims with all kinds of seriousness on my face, "This agreement we have isn't about our emotions and feelings. It's just sex. Why don't you get that?"

"I do get it," I reply. "I just--"

"Go into the bedroom, Perrie, now," he says.

Alright...

I do not regret making Zayn mad. He had no reason to be. He should trust me enough to at least talk to me about what happened and if nothing really happened he could just say it. I thought that this whole argument was ridiculous.

I followed Zayn to the back bedroom. He tells me to go into the bathroom and start the shower and to get into it. I sighed as I did what I was told. However, I still wasn't regretting anything I said. I know that tonight's rendezvous is going to me a little more rough than previous nights. I didn't even want to be here.

I looked myself in the mirror. I did not know what I was feeling right now except for disrespected feeling towards Zayn right now. I just wanted to get this over with and go to my dorm so that I could reevaluate my life.

I get into the hot shower and wet my hair. I feel a pair of hands on my back. Zayn hungrily kisses my neck. His hands grope my around my waist; tight. I was so tense and scared. His left hand moved close to my private parts. I breath out and he backs off. He stands in front of me and moves my hair out of my face.

"I didn't mean to yell at you," Zayn says. "It's a sensitive subject and I don't like talking about it."

"Do we have to do this tonight?" I ask.

"I know that you're a little bothered right now," he replies. "I'll let you off this one time."

"Thank you," I say.

"I'll see you tomorrow at my office at one o'clock," Zayn says.

"I have class at that time, Zayn," I say looking up at him.

"I'm busy for the rest of the day so you need to decided what's more important, Perrie: school or money," he says stepping out of the shower.

Zayn, I can't come to...

I stepped out the shower and put on a t shirt that way laying on the bed. I didn't even bother putting my other clothes on. I grabbed my purse and stuck my feet in my boots. There were keys and rain boots on some jeans and a t shirt. I grabbed them and left.

When I got into the car, I was so devastated. I cried and cried and cried; just sitting there for what felt like hours. I finally got the strength to start driving myself to my dorm. When I got there, Leigh-Anne wasn't in-- thank God. I was not in the mood for explaining myself tonight.

I just wanted to sleep. I was getting a slight cold as well, so that was going to be hard. I changed my clothes and laid in my bed thinking of backing out of this sugar daddy thing. It wasn't feeling worth it anymore.

I know it's just business, but we don't have to follow all the rules. I think Zayn would be happier if everything wasn't so corporal. It's insane how strict he's making things. I think I'm just shocked because he yelled at me. I didn't know that is was that deep.