Bucky Barnes' Daughter

Chapter Nine

Bucky's POV:

We searched all day and all night trying to find Serenity.  Part of me knew she was in trouble but I couldn't find her no matter how hard I looked.  She is the only person who can unlock my past. I continue my search into the next day and the day after that.

On the third day, I felt a pull deeper into he forest.  I couldn't ignore the need so I let the pull draw me towards a small animal.  It wasn't much bigger than a rabbit and had dark colored fur.  It slowly moves making small cries.

I knew it was Serenity as I pick up the small cat.  It cries in pain and I notice the bite mark on her spine.

"What happened?"  I ask her as I grab the backpack being careful to keep Serenity still in my arm.  She starts closing her eyes and I keep talking to her hoping that she would stay awake long enough for me to get her the help she needed.

I race back to the compound and towards Dr. Banner's lab.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I slowly open my eyes hoping that I was safe again.  The dog came out of nowhere and attacked me.  I couldn't make myself shift because I didn't have the willpower to.  Sometimes my body would force me to turn into a girl when I got to this point but sometimes I couldn't change back.

The dog bit my back and I managed to scratch him.  Weirdly enough, he ran away leaving me on the ground in pain.  Sometime later, Bucky found me.  He talked to me the entire time he carried me back to the compound.  I blacked out after that.

"Serenity?"  Banner's voice pulls me out of my flashback.

"How did you turn me back?"  I ask as I try to shift my body weight.  My back screams in agony and I stop moving.

"Be careful, your back is still healing."  Banner helps me move so I was more comfortable.  "Bucky said something in Russian and you shifted back."  I smile as I realize he remembered the word that always brought me back.  "How's the pain?"

"I've had worse."  I try to lie but the pain was pretty bad.  The dog's mouth could have easily crushed my spine so the pain was around most of my body.  I was vulnerable as a cat but sometimes I needed the stealth to get away.  In this instance, I should have stayed in my human form.

I close my eyes tiredly listening to my heartbeat as it's played through the machines next to me.  It was a soothing sound and slowly I let myself relax.  Natasha didn't say anything that I found hurtful.  No, it was my own feelings that sent me running for cover.  I was so stupid thinking I could survive on my own.

"Is she awake yet?" Bucky's voice echoes as he talks to Banner somewhere outside my room.

"She woke up a few minutes ago but she's exhausted so she probably fell asleep again."  Banner replies.  I wanted to be asleep but I couldn't ignore the ache in my chest as I heard the concern in Bucky's voice.

He comes in my room and takes a seat next to the bed.  I keep my eyes closed hoping he would think I was sleeping like Banner said.

"I remembered, Serenity."  The words stabbed my heart.  "I remember the way you would talk to me while I was the Winter Soldier.  You weren't afraid even though you knew I would be the one that caused you pain.  I remember you bloody body as it lay in front of me in a pool of blood.  It was the blood that brought me back to you.  I was the one who caused you the pain but you reached towards me because I was also the one who helped you forget about it."

"Why would you give me a second chance just moments after I beat you within an inch of your life?"  I wanted to explain that it wasn't his fault but I wanted to hear more.

"You never lashed out. No matter how bad things got.  I also remember the moment before you erased these memories.  You were crying as you tried to explain why you were doing this.  You wanted to give me a second chance." 

He remembered what I had tried to keep from him.  Our last moment together was after he beat me again.  Blood soaked through my clothes but i wasn't in pain, because Bucky needed me.  He was scared I wouldn't make it this time and he wanted to kill himself because of it.  I had to save him so I erased so many memories making his pain and eventually my own, disappear like it never really happened.

"I'm so sorry."   I whisper without opening my eyes.  Tears were falling down my cheeks.  He remembered now and all I wanted was his forgiveness.  "I wanted to protect you like you protected me."

"I caused you so much pain."  Bucky argues.

"That wasn't you." I argue opening my eyes.  "That wasn't the Bucky who stitched me up after every beating.  The person who hurt me wasn't you."  I hoped he would someday believe that.