My Crazy Love Affair (gxg)

Chapter 27

"Do you wanna get back with her?"

"What?! No!" She shot her head up and i was met by her calmed features, eyes dull but it's full of depth that's somehow scary. Like I have only seen it just now, it holds a feeling of exhaustion. I can feel something's bothering her.

"What did you feel? When you were talking to her?" She hid her face on my chest but I'm aware of the wheels turning in her head. I'd feel the same or worst if I knew she's speaking with her ex again. There's this exquisite urge to ask what things did they talked about and why suddenly did they decide to speak with one another after the break up.

Well I know personally how the quote goes that you can't be friends with your ex cause it's either you didn't really loved them or you love them still.

"Honestly? I felt angry and the feeling of betrayal was like a bile rising on my throat but...but it went away when I thought of you. It felt different,  there's this fuzzy feeling on my chest and I can't help but to feel happy when I think of you. It made me realize that I'm over her and i want this...with you."

"Promise me though." My heart started to thump hard. "Promise you'll tell me when you feel like quitting on me and I'll. ..let you go."

"Why do it get a feeling that something's up but you don't wanna tell me? You know I'm here for you right?" It terrifies me how selfless she could be that she's willing to let go of me for my happiness sake.

"Nothin'." She sighed.

"Babe," I know that behind every nothing is something but she just refuses to tell me and it's either she wanna hide things from me to protect me of getting hurt or its too personal for her to share cause even you say that you two are official, there's still this boundary of being able to keep things to your own.

"Hmm?" She hummed without looking at me.

"You know I love you right?" There was this seconds of hesitancy that she was giving out with the long stretch of time before she got back to me.

"I hope so." She sat down, her back facing me.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I can't help but wonder where did this even came from. Why the hell did she suddenly doubt me. It felt so bad like I have been shot between my eyes. Like I did something wrong.

I hate it when I ruin the mood of anyone especially her. It's like a habit that I made to make her smile all the time but this time I feel like I failed.

Well I can't blame her though. She didn't know what went down to our hill when I was with my ex. I don't even wanna mention her name knowing she didn't like it even though she never mentioned it. But I don't get it. Doesn't she feel how am making an effort to be in this relationship 100 percent?

"Nothing."

"She was in the past, and if her being part of my past will ruin this," I gestured the space between us. "Then I am sorry but what can I do? She's fucking part of it." This time, I sat on the other side of the bed, my back facing hers.

"I said nothing, okay?" I don't believe it.

I wanna probe the topic but I think it's just a bubble to pop that will only burst right in front of my face. So i kept my thoughts.

"You know what, I am happy you came to me but I'm so disappointed of how you are doubting me. I know our relationship is young, but where do I stand between your doubt and my trust to myself that I can make you happy?"

-

A/N: this chapter has been here for a while now. Short and messy, hanging and unfinished. I didn't know it will be so fitting in real life and it sucks. Like you are writing this from your personal stand point.

I didn't even want to write this right now but fuck it I don't feel good. And you, just so you know. You frustrate me to no end, you have no idea.

Friday 13th is so real, fucking real.

You.

L.