Fan, but not a fan

chapter 19

Jane POV

In English class working on my poem. Writing it with my sparkly red pencil. Erasing and adding away. Flipping my hair I get an idea. Going letter after letter. With an M here and an A there. Having my hand not wanting to stop. Not even if there was a fire. Even then I would keep on going. Maybe I'd get up, but I still be putting letter after letter.

After all that writing I finally have a good poem. I get up to go hand it in, right when the bell rings. Handing it in so fast not wanting the teacher to know there is something up. To be hold it doesn't work and I hear my name. Trying to pretend I don't as I get my bag. Hearing it ones again as I'm about out the door. This time I have no choice but to turn back and see what he wants. Even though I have a pretty good idea. Heading over to his deck, after everyone has left. I sit down and wait for him to say something. knowing I should ask him, but as I kind of know, I just sit there in silence. Kind of still hoping its not what I think.

Mr. Star finishes putting his papers away. Walking back to his desk, he trips little on his own shoes. Making me laugh little with in. Finally as he sits down trying to come back from his fall not doing so well, he speaks up. "What clumsy me. These shoes must be out to get me"

"Oh teach, no there not. Any who, can we pleas get to why you asked me here. I do want to get to my friends."

Fixing his papers a pone his desk he says. "Oh yes, I was hoping you could tell me why Jay hasn't bin to class. Its so unlike him."

Starting to really worry about Jay. I don't even know my self. Thinking the worst of the worst. Dose he just not like me anymore and can't face me, so he is missing class cuss of it. Or is it something even worse, like he is cuffing out his insides as we speak. Oh no Jay pleas oh pleas don't be that. I can take it if he doesn't like me any more, but him dyeing would kill me. At least if the other he is still here. Not like I can make him like me and I would never want that any way. True feelings are so much batter, then they would never hate you for it.

I then hear, "Oh no Jane, have I lost you."

Looking up I try to leave my thoughts an not think the worst. I should know before going to conclusions. Saying, "Lost in my thoughts thats all. Have a lot on my mind right now. When I really should get going."

"Oh Jane, now I know why."

"What you do? I must be a open book to you."

"I am a English teacher, so I do know a sad book when I see one."

With an intrigued look a pone my face saying, "Intreating way to put it. You deftly have a way with words."

"I would hope so. I am a English teacher after all."

A slight smile craps up a pone my face. Even when I am still worried. Mr. Star sure knows how to make me feel good, even when I'm not. Going pleas oh pleas Jay. Taking my hands to my lap just fidgeting with my thumbs.

Mr. Star stays, "oh your not looking to good. I hope Jay didn't do anything"

"Only thing he has done is make me wonder what is up."

"So you don't know then."

"No, teach I don't." Trying to stay clam I fidget more and more with my hands. Holding them down titer to my lap, to calm me. When it looks like it is working. Clinching them together as I do so. Holding what's with in me to my fingertips. Not being able to sit still any longer I say, "Ok teach, I must be going."

"wait Jane, Hope its all gooo......" I leave before he can finish. Taking out my phone and text Jay. Asking him whats up and why he missed class. That is so unlike him. To that I head to the bathroom splashing some water on my face. Feeling a little batter. I fix my skirt, and out I went to my friends.