Cyanide | Loss

»seventeen«

"Matt are you drunk?" I asked concerned as I found him stumbling down the stairs to the basement. The fact that this was actually his older sister's party that he invited me to made me suspicious.

"I'm not sure."He replied. "How many rounds of beer pong does that take?" I rolled my eyes and followed him down to the basement.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're fourteen years old." I replied.

"Melissa, I'm just kidding, I'm completely sober, for now." He added the last part quickly at the end. "Now come on, there's something I want to show you." Matt shut the basement door and sat on a couch close to a small shelf. He took a framed picture from the shelf and held it in his hands.

"This is my mom." He said showing me the picture of the young woman with dark hair proudly wearing her marines uniform. "She's been MIA for three years now."

"She's beautiful." I said, Matt just nodded. "You think she's dead?"

"I know it." He replied putting the picture back on the shelf. "And I know you lost your mom too."

"How?" I asked, I was starting to think that this kid knew me better than I knew myself.

"I'm very observant." He replied smirking. "But I'm just now coming to terms with it." He paused. "Any advice?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Don't blame yourself, and be happy you have other family." I paused. "I didn't and honestly it was terrifying going through it by myself. Chris was the only other person I had, and for the majority of it he was two states away while I was in National."

"What about your dad?" He asked. "He drives you everywhere."

I laughed, "Oliver's my foster dad. My biological dad is in prison." I smiled. "Maybe you aren't as observant as you thought."

Matt stood up and headed to the corner of the room where there was a small cabinet locked with a keypad.

"Maybe something to help with the emotions." He sighed putting in the code and opening the cabinet returning with a bottle of champagne. "You want some?"

"You're f*cking crazy." I said. "And no."

"You sure?" He asked again.

"Seriously?" I asked. "No, I physically can't have alcohol, I'll die." I said. "I take too many medications." I stood up and took the champagne bottle out of Matt's hand. "And I'll let you know right now, you can't hide your feelings by drinking, sorry to say I've tried." It was true and I didn't like to admit it, but I did have some wine that my mom had never finished, although shortly after I decided it tasted bad and never did it again.

"Wait, what?" Matt asked again, not really protesting my putting the champagne bottle back in the cabinet.

"After my mom died, I drank half a bottle of wine. It was a terrible idea and I shouldn't have done it." I sighed sitting back down. "It's illegal for a reason, Matt."

"Okay." He said. "What are you doing over spring break?"

I smiled. "It's really interesting, wait for it," I paused. "I'm doing a water bottle tour for my prosthetic."

"Water bottle tour?" He asked, not sure what it meant.

"It's a term for a series of meetings with big companies and people who have assistants that constantly offer to get you bottled water." I explained.

"Your whole break?" Matt asked.

"Starting Monday until Saturday, and my foster mom starts maternity leave right after, we're not going anywhere." I shrugged.

"Oh." Matt said. "So I guess we couldn't hang out?" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Maybe if I have the time." I said "Now, let's do something." I suggested. "Let's play two truths and a lie."

We went on just the two of us sitting in the basement for about thirty minutes playing the game before my phone began vibrating.

It was Chris, so I immediately picked up.

"Chris, what's up?" I asked standing up (Matt and I had been sitting on the floor).

"Nothing, just figured I'd call and check in on you make sure you were alright." He said sounding uncomfortable.

"Are you sure? You don't sound okay?" I was getting really concerned for him. There was a pause where I assume he stood up, left the area and then continued our conversation.

"This is a code 3N07." He said quickly. "You can still be you, just be my girlfriend." Ah yes, today Chris was going out after the football game with some friends, and apparently needed me to pretend to be his girlfriend. "The cheerleaders are getting annoying."

"Only you Chris would have a problem with getting hit on by too many cheerleaders." I sighed. "Go ahead put me on speaker." There was a short silence while Chris returned and put me on speaker before he began our conversation as a fake couple.

"Hey Mel." He said.

"What's up, babe?" I asked. Matt burst out laughing and I cracked a smile.

"I just had some friends who wanted to talk to you." He said.

"Okay." I replied. "Shoot."

"When was the last time you saw Chris- in person?"

"Where do you live?"

"What's your full name?"

"When is Chris' birthday?"

Several questions were thrown at me at once.

"I saw Chris last weekend, we went to a wedding together."I answered the first question. "I used to live in Central City, but I live in Star now, my full name is Melissa Elizabeth Marks, and Chris' birthday is March twenty fifth." I paused "Anything else?"

"Seems legit." I heard someone mumble in the background as other agreed

"Thanks Mel." Chris said taking the phone off speaker. "I'll call you back later."

Later that night I got a few follow requests from Nova High cheerleaders which I checked with Chris to see which ones were crazy and which were okay.

After Oliver drove me home I went into the screening room and found Felicity with a tub of ice cream in her lap cuddled up with a blanket watching Friends crying.

"Why can't she just keep one?" my foster mom looked up at me with teary eyes.

"Phoebe's not the kind of person to keep that from her brother." I replied sitting down next to her. "And could you imagine her actually raising a kid?"

Felicity nodded seeing my point.

"How do people do that? Giving up this little person." She asked looking down at her own stomach and pausing the show.

"They're just not ready." I said. "It doesn't always happen like that, some people just don't have the money to support a kid."

Felicity moved the ice cream tub over to the other chair and laid her head down in my lap and took my arms, placing my hands on her stomach.

"You can feel the baby moving." she said softly, we sat there and smiled a while just the three of us. Me, Felicity and my younger sibling.

>> a.n.

reading this chapter YEARS later makes me violently cringe. but alas I am way too lazy to edit it. anywho, hope y'all are having a good day/night/time. I sure am :) vote if u like !! comment if u really like !

<3, holly