The Fandom Games

PART III: Chapter 19

          

CHAPTER 19 – THE WOODS AT NIGHTFALL

Artificial crickets chirped in the trees around us. I lied awake, though it was Maleficent's turn to keep watch. I guessed it was only reasonable that I have some form of insomnia. It was only my first day back with them, and I even sold them a story that I'd been hunting down Tate the whole day and finally killed him at the end of the day, but then found myself turned around and slept on my own for the night. Naturally, they scolded me for being so careless and naive, but I could take the criticism if it meant keeping their trust for a few days longer. I could kill them in their sleep if I ever –

Whoa. Psychotic thoughts. About time I was going crazy.

I rolled from my right side to my left, to my right again, and then flat on my back. I took in the view of the black, starless sky.

"Maleficent?" I whispered into the void, giving up most hope of sleeping tonight.

"Yes, darling?"

"Do you think we'll really win?" I sighed, a smile playing at my lips.

"I'm confident one of the three of us will," she said, "but which one of us specifically, I can only guess."

"What do you think, Moira? Do we have a shot?"

I was answered only by silence other than the quiet crackling of leaves through the wind, indicating she was already asleep. At least one of us could take advantage of the time of night that it was.

"I've just been thinking," I said, "I don't know if I want to win."

"Why's that? The reward seems just splendid."

"I know it does..." I trailed off.

"You don't mean you want to die, do you?"

I thought about that. "I don't know. Not that I want to die, more like I'm not excited about living. Does that make sense?"

"It doesn't, but I'll hear you out."

I cracked a small smile. "I told you I'm not Avril Lavigne."

"You did."

"I feel like the biggest difference is that we just aren't the same person. We look almost exactly alike, but we're not each other. When Avril was alive, she painted this picture of herself to be completely carefree. She did whatever she wanted and didn't care at all for the consequences. I... I'm not like that. I'm a Christian and I believe in divine love and discipline. So, if I were to die out here, I know I'd go to Heaven. That's so much better than winning – if I killed everyone else and won, I'd get money. But who really cares about that in the grand scheme of things?"

"You think you'll go to Heaven?" She sounded like she was about to laugh at me.

"Yeah, I do." I smiled at the mere thought of it.

"But you've killed people out here already. You really think your God doesn't mind?"

"I think Jesus died so that I can be forgiven for that. He knew I'd kill people out here because he created me and my personality. He died for me so I can live despite that."

Maleficent didn't answer. I started to feel like I was preaching to her, but that could hardly be helped now. I liked talking about this.

"Anyway," I continued. "That's kind of why I don't want to win all that badly. It seems pretty futile when you think about it."

"Do you think you'll be up much longer? I'm getting tired and I'm willing to pass off the watch to you."

"Oh – okay, yeah, I can take over."

I sat up and saw the faded outline of my colleague lie back down.

"Good night," Maleficent muttered.

"Good night," I replied.

And then all was silent. I still had God on my mind. So I did the only thing I could think of to do – I prayed.