We Know Better

High

"Laina, do wanna go with us?" Brendon asks, when I look confused because I was not listening to what they were talking about, he continues, "To the field behind the park."

"Oh, yeah, okay." I respond quickly.

He smiles at me and I think he might actually be really happy that I am going.

We all get up from our seats and make our way out of the house and onto the street. The park is not far from his house. Just a couple suburban blocks and then the playset comes into view. Cal runs ahead of us, he goes up a slide the wrong way, turns and yells 'parkour' at us before jumping and doing some other average maneuvers. We both laugh as we walk to catch up to him.

"Where's your family by the way?"

"I'm not sure where my brother is today, but my parents are spending the day with some of their friends." He tells me and then continues, "I know it's weird, parents actually have lives."

I laugh because it is funny, but also to give me a chance to think of a response. What I come up with is, "Yeah, it's wild."

By that time we have reached the playset as well so Cal jumps down and joins us again as we keep walking. Cal mentions something that he, Cooper, and Brendon used to do at the park when they were younger. That launches them in a series of reminiscent stories. Some I remember Cooper telling me about, but most of them are new to my ears.

Once we have left the park area, the grass gets a little higher and the color fades from the green of the city watered grass to golden brown. We go further in comfortable quiet until the grass kind of looks like wheat. I let my hands run over the soft tops of the grass while I look over at Brendon. The sun is shining off of his light brown hair and I feel like I am in a sappy romance movie. It is ridiculous.

There is a clearing where the grass is not at our waist and instead reaches to about the ankle. That is where Cal stops and turns around as he reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a blunt and raises his eyebrow at Brendon in a question. Brendon smiles and nods, but then looks over at me.

"You wanna?" He offers.

I shake my head, politely declining.

"Are you okay with us smoking?" He asks.

"Yeah of course. Go for it." I say nonchalantly, but I am happy that he even asked if I was comfortable with it.

He turns back to Cal who has lowered himself onto the ground and is lighting the blunt. Brendon sinks to the ground near him as he takes it from Cal who falls onto his back. As Brendon takes a drag, he crosses his legs and pulls his knees up closer to his chest as he rests his arm across them. When he is done, he hands it back to Cal and then looks up at me. I am still standing next to them feeling a little out of place again.

He raises his hand up to me, "Come sit down with us?" He phrases it more like a question rather than a request.

I gently touch his hand and let him pull me down next to him. I mirror his position and rest my arms on my knees. With my head resting against my arms, I look over at him and smile back at him. One side of his mouth pulls up into a half smile, and then he reaches back to take the blunt from Cal again.

I watch him smoke and I am entranced with a weird mixture of intrigue and aversion. My father smokes cigarettes and I know all about the harmful affects of them, so cigarettes represent a whole lot of bad for me. A blunt is not much different, except it has all the attraction that comes with oral fixations and it is not quite as bad as its cigarette counterpart. I watch as he holds it between his index and middle knuckles and brings it up to his lips that gently close around it so that he can take a long drag. He keeps his mouth closed as he gives it back to Cal once more. Then, he tilts his head up toward the sky and gently blows the smoke above him. Once he is done, he looks over at me.