Unbearable Decisions (boyxboy)

Chapter 28 (What are the Stakes?)

Luca's Point of View

I had just divulged one of my darkest secrets to this boy, this boy who for some time now I have come to rely on so much. This boy who has stuck with me through what I am sure has been the hardest time in my life. He never turned me away or gave up on me. He did so much more for me than save my life, he saved my heart and soul. He pulled me out of the pit I had fallen in for the second time, I knew it was the second time because I lost my memories which means I went through this once. That didn't stop the helpless feeling I felt though, only he made it feel better. He was the only one who managed to not only make me stop crying, but also make me smile.

I don't know when it was that I started seeing this boy in a different light. He was just a friend, a really good friend, and then something changed. I use to be so afraid of him, afraid that his concern for me was fake. But then he jumped out that window, he jumped out of it for me! It was then that I knew there was something special about this boy from that moment on. When I told him my messy past he didn't push me away, he didn't look at me with pity or disgust, nor did he leave me. No, he pulled me closer, he hugged me, he comforted me and told me how he also had a bad past.

It was thank to all these things that got me here now. It is the reason I look at him like he is my world, which he is. It is the reason that I asked one of the scariest questions in my life, "Can-can I try something?" He didn't look away from my eyes as he nodded. It was then that I closed my eyes and moved forward, slowly. My breath started coming in short deep puffs as it speed up. It wasn't the only thing speeding up, my heart was beating a mile a minute in my chest and my mind was running faster than I could actually make out what I was thinking.

I did manage to make out some of the possible scenarios of what would happen if what I wanted to happen did. He could reject me completely and tell me how disgusted he is with me, he could take this further than I wanted and use me, he could like it but be so scared that he never wants it to happen again. By the time I went through like fifty different possibilities I came to the conclusion to 'test the waters'. I kept leaning forward, unaware of what he was doing, until my forehead came into contact with his. The heat was so intense that I was already sweating, but it if felt to good to chicken out now.

I could still feel his arms on my shoulders, but then the one on my left shoulder left. I felt it move it's way up my shoulder. I started getting goosebumps as his smooth, but ruff, hands ghosted over my neck. It finally settled on my cheek, where he cradled my face. I could feel his shaking hands, evidence that he was as nervous as me. I finally used my ears and heard that my uneven breathing was being mimicked by him. I leaned into his hand as I whispered, "Jacob!" The pressure on his hand increased as he gently started pulling me towards him.

I could almost feel the intensity in the air as our attraction blew through the roof. His other hand moved from my shoulder to wrap around my body and lay on my upper back. I didn't know what to do with my hands, I am so inexperienced. I decided (more like gave up on figuring it out) to put my right arm around his body like he did to me and lay my left hand on his chest. We were so close that we were sharing the air between us, it made me a little bit light headed (or maybe it was him). "Are-are you sure you want this?" I felt his breaths come out against my lips as he said this. I gave no response I just moved to close the small fragment of a gap between us.

I felt a hand grab the collar of my shirt in the back as I was pulled away from Jacob. We didn't even get to touch lips before I was hauled away from the boy I was so close to kissing! His eyes were as wide as mine as I opened mine to see what was going on. Jacob was reaching out for me yelling, "WHAT THE HELL MATHEW!" I turned my head to see that it was in fact the Mathew fellow, the man who saved me from Samuel. "My apologies Jacob for ruining the moment, but this is important," He said as he pulled me towards him.