Unbearable Decisions (boyxboy)

Chapter 19 (Breaking Walls)

Luca's Point of View

I stirred from my sleep as I felt an uncomfortable weight on my chest. I looked down and saw Jacob half way laying on top of me with his head above my heart. I turned my gaze towards the ceiling as I thought about how yesterday turned out. I had the most fun that I've had in years when I showed Jacob the city. I mean we were talking and laughing like we didn't have a care in the world. That is until Zack had to come and ruin it, all because of what happened years ago.

I was smiling when my mind came back to Jacob and I felt him move even closer to me by putting his arm around my waist. He started mumbling in his sleep and smiling at the same time. I started to run my fingers through his hair, which caused him to tighten his grip on my hip. I was so happy right now, the first time since I was seven. That is until the conversation I had with Mary came back.

My eyes widened with the realization of what I was doing, I was getting to close to someone! I promised myself that I would never get close to anyone, for their sakes and mine! I stopped touching Jacob and got out of the bed as quickly as I could, not caring if I woke up Jacob or not. He grumbled when I finally got away from him but remained asleep.

I started pacing back and forth near the foot of my bed thinking 'I let my guard down and now I'm going to get hurt!' Jacob started moving in his sleep, almost like my absence caused his dream to turn into a nightmare. I kept looking at him, unable to turn my eyes away from the boy that I had now slept with two nights in a row! I walked out of the room as Jacob began to wake up.

I tried to distract myself by cooking but I could still hear Jacob yell out for me a couple times. I decided it's best to distance myself from him so he can find other friends, besides, he'll leave me today after he sees that girl. The thought of that girl being with Jacob made me mad for some reason, so mad that I almost burned myself on he stove trying to pick up the bacon barehanded.

When I was done making my breakfast  and cleaning everything up, I heard what sounded like crying coming form the bedroom! It took all of my willpower to keep myself from going in there and making sure he was alright. I went into the living room and ate my breakfast in silence. After a few more minutes of Jacob crying I heard him get up and leave our room. He must have smelt the bacon since he headed straight to the kitchen first.

When he realized I wasn't in there he came into the living room and greeted me saying "Hey Luca what ya doing?" "Eating" I said as I kept my eyes on the food. "Oh did you make me any?" he said with hope in his voice. My anger from earlier was still bubbling so I growled out a no, he needs to cook his own food if we're not going to be friends anymore. Jacob must have sensed my anger because he asked "Luca, what's wrong?" I don't know why but trying to end my friendship with Jacob was hard and I was becoming more angry by the second as I said  "Nothing, just go get ready so you can leave when you need to" and turned away from him, hoping he would get the message.

Apparently he didn't because the next thing he did was come over and sit beside me. I moved as far down the couch as I could because being around him was not make this easier. He scooted closer and I tensed up feeling like I should do something to get away. "Don't lie to me, I can tell you're upset" he said trying to get inside my head. "You don't know me good enough to know when I'm lying so just leave me alone and go get ready" I said meaning every word.

Jacob was persistent about this and said "no Luca I want to know why you won't look at me." I snapped at this because I knew that if I looked at him again that all the years I put into separating myself from people would go down the drain, "I'm not looking at you because I don't want to alright!" I couldn't handle how close we were anymore so I got up and went to the kitchen.